Fall in thoughts

Fall is the time of the year when leaves display their vibrant colours and tones.  The air gets cool, the days get foggy and cloudy, and the sunlight shifts its direction.   The bright and deeper shades of yellow, green, red, and brown,  mingle together.

The leaves on the trees and those fallen create a space where I meet myself in worlds and dimensions beyond that of time and space.

Endings and releasing.  The planetary shifts seem more intense this year.   It is as if 2019 is preparing us.  To 'release' and 'let go",  to feel aligned with our outer and the inner.  Intense soul lessons, who we are and how to live at our personal and collective level.   An ascension, where we vibrate differently, see life from a different perspective.

Those who read the stars remind us to see our shadows, to allow our emotions to rise, and be felt, directed and released.  As we begin to see what affects the 'collective' we will take more responsibility for our thoughts, actions and behaviour. 

We will be ready to face the challenges, for the 2020, not in hindsight but as active co-creators.   To face the new beginnings of each day as it dawns.

Transformation and Structure, Pluto and Saturn will be in cosmic alignment in January 2020.  Our deepest, darkest, and most intense energies will clash and what will surface becomes the new story of our life.  Reflect back to end of April 2019, what were the themes and patterns happening at that time?  The seed of the full alignment to come in January 2020 was co-created.

Pluto and Saturn come this close every 34 to 38 years, first time in Capricorn since centuries.  How will this shake our foundations of belief and social conditioning?  What will the awakened soul trigger?

Pluto is the transformation, it works at a spiritual level, on our inner self.  Where the shadows of shame hide.  It helps us to uncover our dark sides, accept it to forgive ourselves and not hide in its shadows.  Pluto helps us to dig deep, and we find our authentic power, through what comes to light we find the courage to face life.

Saturn allows us to take responsibility for our lives,  the past and the future.  It shows us the consequences of our actions and sometimes we are shown  'tough love' as a trigger to help us find our true potential. 

With all these thoughts swirling in me, I set out for my morning walk.  I used the sights and signs, to guide, encourage, to reflect.  Feel and understand, forgive and release.

Why a day!

Life itself is the celebration, then why only a day to acknowledge?

It seems that the day called "Mothers Day" is a day celebrated to say "thank you" to our mothers.  Even though many consider this to be a "hallmark" holiday, the show of love and appreciation makes it special.   The effect of the expression accumulates and symbolically seems like an 'overflow of the river of love'.

The sun sets on the day, the hearts soften and open.

Each heart and each expression of love is infused with the raw unconditional love.  It's expressed by children and their children towards their mothers and their mothers.

Those alive and those not, all are remembered. 

I wonder if the energy of the day could be captured! The world, the inner and all outer ones will light up. 

So yes pause and acknowledge.   Every moment, every day, and then why not express it collectively.  

In all it itty, gritty, messy, way this is the joy.   Being a mother is the start and continuation of life.  

It's a love shown to the other through thoughtfulness, nurturing, and well being of self and the other.

Giving thanks - and "autumn leaves drift by my window"

I am thinking gratitude is a state of being, and giving thanks as an act.  We keep practicing, and we become the action.

Then there is the day celebrated as "thanksgiving"; in Canada its celebrated on the second Monday in October, associated with the harvest time,  and in the U.S its the fourth Thursday of November.

Great family holiday, one of the few where gifts, and shopping and traffic ordeals are not needed.  Well maybe the traffic one is a stretch.  As people do like to travel to be with their families and loved ones on this holiday.

Its always been a favorite holiday, with family and friends a reunion time.   In our family we gather on the Sunday, the day before the holiday.  It was logistics, kids returning to college on the Monday, and then also for selfish reasons of having a lazy morning after, before heading out to work.

So Lasagna with garlic bread, caesar salad and apple crumble, a long standing menu and everyones favorite.  Always request to make extra Lasagna as "it tastes better the next day"....

So today the meat sauce (has to be meat, for those of us who are vegetarians, a separate casserole is made), is ready.  Fresh meat, cooked for at least three hours, as the tastes all assimilate with the slow and extended cooking time.  With preparations done, Sunday morning will be assembling and cooking, conversations wrapped with love and laughter.

Fall weather has been beautiful, the colors vibrant, the sunshine clear and the air crisp.  Last night even the half moon seemed closer.

I give thanks, love abounds...

Rumi's words come as the autumn leaves fall: "inside of us, there's a continual autumn.  Our leaves fall and are blown out over the water".

A joy to life

Every moment
with every breath,
My awareness is an attestation to my life.

When the awareness is no more,
Who will be no more?

Do i die,
in my body
Or in awareness ?

I seek no answer to these.
Questions, they are not,
They are simply a reminder...

A reminder to live,
each moment with awareness.

Cherish!

We know not when
whose awareness will be no more.

Jupiter Transits into Gemini

North America - Houston calling...

The last few days back in North America, to the luxuries of living in a first world, concrete world….immense gratitude for being with the family and friends. And then the news - as I watched the cruise ship and its 4000 some passengers going through their personal stories of discomfort as the systems broke down on the luxury liner….unhappy people with unmet expectations. They paid for the few days of time off to relax and get away, to pause - all the reasons why we take vacations. Now we are talking about protecting the "planet from space"…. a meteor hitting Russia and a close call from an asteroid. One in a million chance of two cosmic events happening on the same day… I cannot help but think of Oscar Pistorius….an inspiration for many, those who met him speak of his kind, gentle and friendly disposition. Our behavior and interactions with others is the mirror, it is the outer projection of who we are. So are we to stop taking people at their "face value", the nicer you are the more hidden demons within? Not! yet it does reinforce the belief that the outer masks need to come off. Not only to express our inner demons, but for each of us to get closer to how we feel, in any and every given moment. The awareness of ones' feelings, without outer distractions - allows one in finding the thoughts surrounding those feelings. This awareness not only help to diminish the intensity of the emotional outburst but allows one to channel that energy; with the hope that the internal conflict does not result in a "volcanic" eruption. Awareness then becomes the freedom to "pause between the stimulant and the action"… Once the comfort level with being with the feelings becomes acceptable, then the "expression" of those feelings becomes manageable, it changes from hostile to compassion for self and for others. As a society we have been conditioned to start the outer relationships in order to feel good inside, could this be the unachievable approach or just another distraction. How about we start a relationship first with oneself and then with others. Life and living is not linear, its now with all its happenings, and all the cosmic coincidences are just another reminder. A daily pause, a ritual to find the space to pause. As essential to life as the breath. This is the journey we want to be on, the pauses and vacations to take from the hustle bustle of every day commitments. Just as the breath and breathing keeps the body alive, the awareness of each moment keeps the soul alive. Is it time to get back to the basics. Take time to appreciate, the laughter of a child, the one meal and each bite each person gets to eat. The joy of loving with just this moment, the presence, the immense ocean of compassion which drowns out all the dramas. Time to think and live simply, finding the beauty in the here and now. In the laughter shared, the mistakes called life, the freedom to feel without the outer distractions to numb this moment. To be simply humans, living and approaching life with the passion and acceptance - two sides of the same coin. The glamour, the perfection, and the inspiration we seek from the external and the outer - causes an imbalance if the inner is not touched. Taking time to be by oneself, to be introspective and contemplate. It is all inside - the outer seeking by so many becomes the destruction of "one"- sometimes the means destroys the end.

anguish

How we internalize what we cannot process.  I wonder if anguish is unprocessed thoughts and feelings arising from life's situations and circumstances.

At what moment does when feel chained and imprisoned...The following news headlines:

"Online activist Aaron Swartz commits suicide, relative says"...

on reading some of the words from his blog, on his "depression" makes me wonder how easy it is to look from the outside and make suggestions to help an imprisoned mind.  How does anyone know and feel what bars of conditioning create this feeling of helplessness and despair in the other?  Is there a fountain where a soul can drink to satiate the soul and the spirit with unconditional love?  The unconditional love, which is received without any attachment and obligation, can it be the fallback for times when life seems to loose all meaning and the a soul decides to "walk away" from living a life form...

If there is only one consciousness and energy field, then does it now hold the anguish of yet another soul...and how can each one of us not feel this energy...

by offering the unconditional love to life which one lives, and extending that same compassion to the lives we touch...maybe the collective energy gets recharged - a spirit renewed

creation...

nuggets of what inspires me:

live each moment,
with no beginning and no end;
no hellos and no goodbyes

life is and i am....

November 18, 2011

and for a moment, all stood still...
no thoughts, no feelings;
in its presence the sensing spoke...

November 22, 2011

i see the pouring rain,
or is it just drops of water, in union...
and each droplet mingles with the next...
life flows, each moment mingling with the next

November 23, 2011

the unfolding, the answer, you are always here...
i am, reassured, in peace and harmony...
as i created one, i create another...
sweet passings...

November 27, 2011

the sun peeks through the clouds, the rain has completed its blessings,
i stand by the door, the tree in the far distance, it grounds me...
what is the truth? and my heart answers, i bow to it...
a peace engulfs me as i look at the soaring hawk, my eagle, it glides and circles and swoops, bowing acknowledging...a blue mairposa flys by... i smile, i feel my eyes burn...in this moment i am tasting the ecstasy, this truth

December 1, 2011

every uncurling of the lotus is showing life...
through the murky water, the beauty reveals

June 12, 2012

a universe is in creation in each moment.
moving outwards with the exhale
being with the inhale.
in the uniquness of each breath
a question asked,
what would i like to spread, what would i like to be

a stillness borne on movement,
a movement carries the stillness.

boundless and free, no structure without form…the energy that is love

if you ask "is this nirvana, is this samadhi?"
a glance, a smile, or is that a tear in the answer...

November 8, 2011...

the eagles soar, between the clouds and the sky…i take a puff on my menthol cigarette, smoking is considered yet another "bad for you"…

before the morning yoga, Jackson comes up to me and says "yoga mama, you always ask everyone how they are doing, today I want to ask you"…i accept the hug, my eyes fill up…woooooooo, is that all it takes to touch the source of this fountain, a hug, a touch, a concern from the heart…

the teacher training coming close to finish line…the two students say they have gone deep, lots of stuff surfacing…

i take my last puff, before the 10 am anatomy session, where we will breathe out the toxins…

a comment once made to me, "you go too deep in a yoga session, bring into people's awareness stuff that is lying buried"…yesterday the guest who released as i lay hands on her shoulder, she has a lightness about her…

i just hold space, there is no label, no judgement…

sometimes i love, as in a deep connection, my soul loves, i long and yearn to touch to feel the closeness the intimacy….i choose those who are unreachable, untouchable… as if through my love, i can invoke in them to love, could it be me, no se...i smile through my tears and glide away... i find other eagles and we soar to the limitless expanse of the blue sky...

Love is without fear

i relate to you, i see you, we talk…there is no ownership…

then years pass, people proudly own and are owned, and in there resides a resentment. why! i ask, does the seed of life grow into a tree of resentment; the tree that provides shade, love, nurturing, joy and freedom to be, becomes a prison…

keep the freedom, love without labels, without judgement, be with someone for no reason, no dramas, without the hero or the villain…when you look over a room full of people, see someone across on the other side, engrossed in conversation, you smile, eyes meet, and the hearts smile…you know that your heart has two homes….LOVE

i accept myself, and I accept you, with gratitude

Gratitude…many definitions only one feeling.

How is gratitude invoked, there are many triggers that invoke this feeling, we all find reasons to appreciate or not. Expression of gratitude can be as simple as saying "thank you", to building a Taj Mahal, and all those in between ways. Sometimes acknowledging the presence of another with a look, speaks volumes…

In the North East, where I have spent most of my living years, October comes and I feel, smell and sense the changing of seasons. I like the fall season, the nip in the air is refreshing, the sunlight is still warm, the changing colors light up the world and nature paints the most beautiful hues of earth tones. I connect with the trees, they are ready to release their leaves, knowing that when spring comes, there will be new buds. The cycle of life continues.

October also brings the long weekend in Canada, a holiday where we celebrate with family and friends, as many get together for the Thanksgiving holiday. Today I find my thoughts, returning to a home where many parts of my heart reside. As I type, I am sitting in the middle of the rainforest in Costa Rica. The trees surround me, the rain falls, the birds sing their symphony…

In my heart, I give a silent "thanks", sending energy to all those hearts that have touched me...I touch you today, with an "energy hug"… of gratitude.

a look, a word, a heart opening...

…i am inspired, by the honesty of an unmasked soul…

We do what we do, we know what we know, i am a sum of integers and decimals, a fraction of the whole…yes it is okay, I C, i feel, and i do what needs to be done in any moment, to make it whole…

The realization, that in the form of existence, could be the physical body, the form of thoughts, the form of feelings and emotion, in all forms there exists time, and where there is time there is change, and where there is change there is the search…all entwined into this tapestry of life and we live life, not because someone tells us to live but this is our purpose…when the purpose is over, the form ceases and becomes deceased…

We are all searching, always searching…the search is for that inner space, for a space where there is no conflict and no duality.  We seek this space, we taste this space in moments…moments shared with friends, family, loved ones... moment when we have met a challenge and satisfied a hunger, in that  moment when a stranger smiles at you because you give them a lighter, and say keep it…watching a sunset or a moonrise over water, where the wave meets the shore… as the wind rustles through a tree, in the stillness of the high sun, in the light of the full moon...holding hands...endless moments of silence, and a lifetime found when eyes lock, souls connect…

It dawns on me that i am the space, and the enjoyment of the moments becomes me…the reliance on external triggers becomes unreliable…

when i am the fountain, when i am the source of water, there is no thirst…the divine union of source and destiny has been consummated…
I C

I C

i thought...

that  when i love, thats all there is,
yes it is, but only for me,
i forgot the you, your vision, your dream, that you see.
see with your heart, and see with your love.

i grow, and love and florish,
our every dream intertwined,
each thread, each sutra, a tapestry of life.

 "i" love, is the "i" to perish.

its been a while, but here i am...

This last month has been a month of muchness…the passing away of a friend, Neem you will always have a place in my heart, thank you for being who you were.  You had an impact on me that has helped me in being who I am.   Thank you.

Anwar, my uncle, he spent a wonderful life, and my childhood is strongly connected to many fun summers spent with him and his family.  My love for trains, has at its source the link to his lifelong career in the railways…Thank You.

2011 brought with it a beautiful soul to study yoga, as we practiced, and discussed the philosophy on which yoga is based, she opened and revealed her fears and challenges…as we shared, she questioned, and at times doubted, but kept scraping the surface and the depth, to unleash her trust in herself and the connection called love that binds all souls…

Barbara and Robyn, what a delight to have met you.  Thank you Robyn for opening your heart and surrendering in the yoga session.  Your connecting me to Kuramba, will manifest...and yes Barbara we both recognized that we had met before.  I look forward to seeing the wonderful photo shots you took.  

Jo-Ann, thank you for presenting your wonderful Yoga book to the ranch and dedicating it to us here.  Your practice was beautiful, I appreciate your asking me to review the upcoming book and allowing me  to contribute some thoughts.  Your book will be good reference material for the yoga training manual that we are compiling for the ranch. 

February rolled in, with more sunshine, as I found myself often singing Bob Marley and "The Sun is Shining"...through the busy days, of yoga teacher training and the sharing of the two daily yoga sessions at Rancho Margot, I found my energy riding on the crest of the waves of the flowing river,  and "I say to myself, what a wonderful world"...

Brian came in with a desire to find his clarity, and allowed himself to open up to us.  Brian your emails are an attestation to the transformation you carried form here.  

Horseback rides to the Mirador, with an amazing soul who seemed to have dropped into my life here...Mark, I have no words to describe the week we shared..spending time with you and Anayancy, was all fun and laughter,.  I enjoyed your presence at the yoga sessions, with the shaking and all!!! It has been "a while" since I enjoyed such an interaction and sharing as I did with you.  Thank you, it reinforced my belief in souls who know each other and meet again as they journey through this beautiful life...trust we see each other again...

Daniel, our new yoga teacher, has come to the ranch with much freshness and his sessions are being enjoyed by all...

February 14 and the Valentine day brought to culmination a philosophy I have been sharing, of letting go of all conditionings and belief in the "shoulds" of life and living life as one truly wants to...letting go of the fears and doubts that robs one of the pleasure of enjoying each moment to its fullest.  So it is befitting that the day brought a magical moment in Brianna's life, in more than one way, and we have not stopped laughing since last night...

In the darkness of the soul a light glimmers,

I pause, and I look…

Is that the fire in my soul, or the light in your eyes…

I feel the lightness of the breeze, the softness of your breath,

You speak, I listen and the music plays on...

and I am Love??

"Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts" ~Wikipedia~

love exists in the absence of fear...when we learn to live with an awareness of  each moment...

in that moment recognise the feelings that arise...FEEL that feeling, in this state, one is the "joy", the "sadness", the "fear"...

here comes the thoughts, watch the thoughts, if they result in an action, watch that action, be the simultaneous doer and the witness...

in the absence of thoughts and stories the feelings begin to evaporate... the witness will begin to perceive a deep sense of emptiness of calmness and surrender...in the emptiness creation is happening, every moment, life becomes an art, a creation...seen in a brushstroke on the empty canvas, a musical note, a sculptor, a flower, a rainbow, a smile, gazing at the stars or in the eyes of a beloved, a sip of water a morsel of food...and love then is not only in the "interpersonal relationship" but one becomes the love, in its totality...mind, body, spirit and soul.

Dia del Amor y la Amistad - Day of Love and Friendship

I came out of the room still twirling and whirling after dancing half the night away with friends........at the top of the step I see a card and a big red chocolate heart.........the card had two red butterflies with words that touched my soul, this gesture from Kamila and Asim is so endearing, as they extend their love for each other, to include me........when we are brimming with love, it overflows and touches all those who are around................may they always stay blessed with this loving..........mmmmmm.........and absorbed in the moment I came into the kitchen to make tea..........big hug from them, closed the circle of love.........

Valentines day is a celebration dating back many centuries.............some ask why establish a particular day to appreciate and show your love and affection to that special someone...........every breath and every moment is that love, show it by a look, a touch and with gratitude

............since we do live symbolically, and celebrate other special days and occasions, we avail this one more opportunity to remind the love, and the loves of our life what he or she means to us.........how we reach out and say it is what makes it so special........to borrow these words from Khalil Gibran:

"Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love."


"And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course."


"Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must the needs have desires, let these be your desires:
TO MELT AND BE LIKE A RUNNING BROOK THAT SINGS ITS MELODY TO THE NIGHT
TO KNOW THE PAIN OF TOO MUCH TENDERNESS
TO BE WOUNDED BY YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE;
AND TO BLEED WILLINGLY AND JOYFULLY
TO WAKE AT DAWN WITH A WINGED HEART AND GIVE THANKS FOR ANOTHER DAY OF LOVING
TO, AT THE NOON HOUR MEDITATE LOVE'S ECSTASY;
TO RETURN HOME AT EVENTIDE WITH GRATITUDE;
AND THEN TO SLEEP WITH A PRAYER FOR THE BELOVED IN YOUR HEART AND A SONG
OF PRAISE UPON YOUR  LIPS"

The yoga of now

Yoga meaning "yoke"............a complete binding or union of mind, body and spirit..........practicing yoga, as in a time specific location, for example on a mat.........using breath awareness a physical form finds its edge, as we surrender into the form, we find space and further the edge, awakening the awareness of the formless energy within........as a "teacher" or as I think of myself as a "sharer" in the energy created in the practice of yoga, my view of life has turned upside down............. this is in relation to how I had been living, in my mind, body and spirit..........this upside down view has now become the right side up.

Being with the souls, connecting and unifying with the energy of bodies during the yoga sessions brings a feeling of completeness, there is no other word to describe this feeling.  As I carry this feeling with me, its a "aha" realization, that now the yoga practice has become a way of life, living, perceiving, being with people and our interactions.  .........the gratitude is to all the human consciousness, the enrichment of this universal consciousness is through the energy of people and the souls returning to their source and origin .......

My head is bowed in gratitude, with a smile on my face........... "and i say to myself, what a wonderful world"..........................

"Our Changing Sky -Sun in Aquarius - Jan 19 2010 to February 18 2010"

I don't understand the science behind Astrology,  yet I enjoy reading astrological web sites........

Yesterday a dear Aquarian, formalized her relationship and announced her engagement.........today  an interesting conversation I had over dinner with Jafer.....we explored how and what is meant by finding the right person, the idea of relationships, the premises of dating, attraction and sustaining the attraction, people getting hurt, etc,...........so I am  inspired to share these words..:........

"In this burgeoning Age of Aquarius we are called upon to recognize that we are more than organic beings bound up by a past filled with old values, memories and wounds. We are, rather, visitors from the future in the process of creating ourselves with our every thought and word. As we free ourselves from physical labor and connect our minds with new technologies, we are no longer bound by traditional ideas of order. We become fully human and free to love without fear or possessiveness."
Jeff Jawer

rumi wows

"when the heart has a friend like you, the universe cannot contain their pleasure."

"with life as short as a half breath, don't plant anything but love."

"close the language door, and open the window of love."

"the flower of what is true opens in the face."

"your soul has become an invisible bee. we don't see it working but there's the full honeycomb."

rumi in february

"when love first tasted the lips of being human, it started singing".............