Living the life story.

I awoke thinking of this physical body in space.

I also felt gratitude for housing this body in the physical space where I eat, sleep, nurture and do many other activities.

Both my physical body and the living space are "constructed".  Both need to be maintained and sustained, healed and repaired.

My thoughts create the emotions, the people who visit this living space create relationships.

I can live with the feelings of fear or love.   Similarly I can relate with fear and love with those whom I share the living space.

What am I constructing?  I ask!  Words and their associated emotions generate the feelings.

What thoughts and emotions are associated with words like "sadness, fear, anger, envy, jealousy, greed, low self confidence, confusion etc."

What thoughts come up when words such as "happy, gratitude, joy, confidence, clarity, beauty, compassion and kindness," are brought into attention; what kind of energy flows within the physical body?

I take a few breaths, conscious of the inhales and exhales.  The  new energy flows with those breaths.

I ask?  How do I begin to write my life story, how do I live this story.

Hope, a candle.  May it burn bright in all our hearts, housed in all the bodies.

Thanks is "forgiving" and only for giving.

Bridge the gap

The "is'm" exist in what "is" and what "is not".

Awareness connects this duality of life, the is and is not, to Consciousness.  Consciousness holds them both, yet it is not affected by either. 

Meditation techniques help build the bridge of awareness, connecting us to the Consciousness, the One, the Source...

Life feels full, complete, and manageable even in moments of challenge, when we choose to walk on this bridge.

Celebrate Life

Last night I slept thinking about introspection and forgiveness.   I realize how important these intentions are.

A tribe called the Jews celebrate their New Year with these intentions.   Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

On this new moon and a solar eclipse in Virgo I too set an intention to celebrate the ending of each day with introspection and forgiveness.  To start the new day with celebration.  

A new ritual to remake my self.  I am the game changer of this life.  What a gift life is and I say Thank You to all who make mine a beauty. 

I heard a sound, from the depth of my soul from the heart of existence.  It said when we live with the gift of a body, a gift of the senses, all six of them, we are alive.  

The awareness of each sense also gives me the ability to be grateful and consciously withdraw from the over stimulation of any of the senses.  In that place I call "my peace" I reconnect with the energy that creates life.  In peace I acknowledge my life lessons.  In introspection I give myself time to heal the "traumas" associated with these lessons.  

I forgive myself, I forgive the other.  

Hotel Villa Cala Airport

I land at Juan Santa Maria airport in Costa Rica.  Its past 10 pm local time.  The airport is empty and the the other passengers who disembark with me walk right up to the waiting custom officers.   No lineups and soon I am outside feeling a breeze lifting any sign of travel fatigue.  

I had booked online and decided to give htis place a try.  Without air conditioning, the breeze coming through the open window, the sound of the swaying palm trees, I am transported back to my parents home.   The villa calla seems like a home, the layout its furniture and its gardens, are all very familiar. 

We are on the flight path, but the infrequent flights are not disturbing.   The hum of the traffic is far in the distance.

I am given a choice of breakfast, and choose to enjoy the local dish of rice and beans called gallo pinto.  I sit with my coffee by the pool.  A yellow butterfly flits and dances around, a white one joins in, and my meditation is being enthralled by nature.  

I realize we have free will, and when we surrender that will and its thoughts, then we too feel as if we are spirited and free.    

I go for a walk, I check my emails, write an articel for Luknow Tribune.  I hear the sound of the blender, out walks Carlos with this drink.  

He shows me the tree in the yard, its fruit is called Cas.  

I remind myself to find the exact spellings so I can locate it on the internet.  

on this longest day...

Travellers on a path,

Walking to our rhythm

Running with our spirit.

The sights we see 

through the eyes of our souls

in the stories we are told.

Why a day!

Life itself is the celebration, then why only a day to acknowledge?

It seems that the day called "Mothers Day" is a day celebrated to say "thank you" to our mothers.  Even though many consider this to be a "hallmark" holiday, the show of love and appreciation makes it special.   The effect of the expression accumulates and symbolically seems like an 'overflow of the river of love'.

The sun sets on the day, the hearts soften and open.

Each heart and each expression of love is infused with the raw unconditional love.  It's expressed by children and their children towards their mothers and their mothers.

Those alive and those not, all are remembered. 

I wonder if the energy of the day could be captured! The world, the inner and all outer ones will light up. 

So yes pause and acknowledge.   Every moment, every day, and then why not express it collectively.  

In all it itty, gritty, messy, way this is the joy.   Being a mother is the start and continuation of life.  

It's a love shown to the other through thoughtfulness, nurturing, and well being of self and the other.

sitting in the evening sun

The rays of the sun are warm even as the day draws to a close.  

The snow has melted, the crocus and the daffodils bloom.  The miracles of nature both a testimony and a reminder to life, it's cycles, and the permanence in the impermanence.  I am reminded of these lines from our teacher here at the institute.  After a deep guided relaxation, towards the end he guides us back to awareness and you hear his voice " rest your body, the finite in the infinite".

I close my eyes.   A few more moments to relish this sunshine, before my reverie changes to "eat your dinner before the evening session"...

Spring is hope for more sunshine, and a summer that awaits in its shadow.  

Living with passion

To find the life purpose is to find what we like to do, and how we like to live when we are by ourself, it is our ‘passion'.  It is not to show outwardly, to brag, or to impress.   

When we are focused only on the outward then we are not fulfilling the purpose.  The result or the goal is an outcome and cannot be the life purpose.  

Be with people and around others but be equally with yourself.  

Say little, listen more. 

Let another find their own answer and their own path.  

When asked, help the other, if you cannot then say it.  

Come from a place of knowing yourself, your doubts and fears.  

Work through the fears and doubts. Doubts are are at times intuition. 

Live within your ‘means', in any given moment, be they financial, mental, emotional, or even the limitations of the body.  

Make regular efforts to extend and or maintain the edges, the boundary, of these ‘means’ and  limitations.  

Just like a daily practice of physical exercise for the body, also do breath exercises.  

Learn through books and learn by seeing yourself and others.  

The heart is the centre of the spirit feel from here.  

Feel compassion.  

The third eye is the home of the soul, see from here and paths will open.  

Move and travel to new places so you can see yourself through many 'mirrors'.  

See the story, create a new story through living your passion. 

Time for me! A full moon lunar eclipse.

I wonder what to name the title of this post? I decide to to write my thoughts instead...the title will happen.

The planetary movements, the shifts, the alignments, and the holidays celebrated by ancient traditions make me think of my existence.   An existence amidst the labels, definitions, and the physical body.

I listen to music tones for the upper chakras, the sixth and the seventh.  These chakras are a part of the physical and the material.   The seventh chakra or energy wheel begins to oscillate between the third and the fourth dimension.  Awareness of the six senses bring and keep us in the third dimension of time and space.   The moments of pause takes us into the fourth or the fifth depending on our personal practice of mindful living.

The moon is waxing into its fullness in less than 24 hours.    The earth's position will be in the middle, as the sun, the moon, and the earth form a straight line.  Its a lunar eclipse.  A time when all feelings and the resulting actions get intensified, exponentially.

I think of the association of the earth, moon, and the sun with our own physical and emotional bodies.

The earth being the 'root', where we feel grounded, to our sense of belonging, the tribe, family, and to the physical shelter our home.   The security, or lack, of being rooted affects the area governed by the moon.  Here we find the balance in relationships with the physical.  Where our personal relationships, our creativity, sexuality, and feelings are evoked or suppressed.   With a balance, or the ability to find that balance comes an inner assurance, self assurance,  the self-confidence.   Which is then the area governed by the sun, the solar plexus,  the home of one's 'action' or the 'will power'.   The fire that burns in our belly, the passion which drives and motivates us resides in the solar plexus.

Metaphorically we take the emotions associated with the 'earth', mix it with 'water' (the moon affects the water), combine the intention and will power from the fire of the 'sun', and live our daily life.  This balance, of the emotions and thoughts, associated with these planets, is important in allowing us to live with empathy, trust, and respect.   Compassion for ourself and others.

So what does this alignment signify.   A change in our expectations, sometimes what we are 'accustomed' to gets "off balance".

Are the intentions that are guided by 'known' expectations, being challenged?

The will power, and the feelings, has to contend with the material (values)...take time to understand and ask oneself: what is being challenged?

We can choose this time to go deep within, or we can use this as an opportunity to be on two extremes, staying only in our feelings or in our action.    The earth in the centre will pull us back, whatever values and structures 'define' us will hold us and guide our path.

Feeling the earth under my feet, going for long walks, a long drive.  Taking this day to go within, introspection as I notice the feelings that each moment, each encounter, brings to the surface.

As the moon comes to being full, its also a time to begin letting go.  Maybe one intention, something that seems doable, a habit that is not serving us needs to be released.

Celebration of the life of a ’soul'.

What is the 'illusion' in life?  Is a soul born into the body of its choice?  I will go with this premise that the soul chooses a body for two reasons.  The first to clear its karma from past lives and secondly to have a vehicle in which to travel in this life.  Does the soul choose the gender? Is the gender simply to carry on the propagation of the humans? This might get clear in ones' contemplation.

This whole narrative is based on my contemplation.  

In the first seven years the soul develops the conditioning and filters through which he or she identifies with a specific gender.  The personality of the gender in this world, along with its' purpose, becomes hard wired through the familial, cultural and the societal norms.  Combined with the stories from the past life or lives, a 'disharmony' or struggle is felt by some children.  Why by some and not why others, this could depend on the disparity between what the soul came to fulfill and its outer layers,  the personality.  Proportionally the lesser this disparity the less inner struggle is felt by the individuals as they go through life.

Looking at ourselves as adults we bring attention to our own perception of the world, seen through the hard wired conditionings, our filters.  Seeing ourself in all its ‘biases', is the first step in accepting who we are, and how did we become who we are.  

Its like coming to a cross road, where we can choose to change our path, then the story and its daily narrative also changes.  

Staying with the unknown, or on a path where we can watch our own actions and reactions, our 'way of being' is the first step and maybe the next and the next…  

Sometimes we rush to replace our ‘stories’, we meet someone who ‘inspires’ us on our journey, or we feel scared not having a ‘direction’ or a ‘point to view’ for our life path, and latch onto the first thing that gives a sense of security.  This can be a false sense of security possibly become an entanglement, and does not meet the objective of ‘clearing’ the way for us to feel and know our purpose.

A journey of exploration is to be undertaken by each person, a journey by oneself and into the self.  The idea is to watch ourself in various situations, interactions and relationships, and to be able to see that it is all 'only our perception’.

An interesting occurrence begins to happen.  as we watch our hard wired conditioning and filters, we also find they begin to lose their stronghold on us.  This gives us an opportunity to see our 'soul', and in this seeing our 'purpose that we came to fulfill starts to appear'.  We begin to feel 'aligned'. 

‘Doing what is mine to do; doing which comes from the heart (the home of the soul); with no attachment to personal success and failure; and sharing the gains of success with all', becomes the path to follow.  

We break the karmic cycle.  Life continues to move, we leave the world a better place.  

Pratyahara in daily living

In yoga terms pratyahara is the ‘withdrawal of the senses.’  It is considered one of the eight limbs of yoga as passed down in the teachings of Sri Patanjali.  Pratyahara allows one to move into the area where the next step is that we begin to notice or see the "fluctuations of the mind".  

Yoga when practiced within the context of the 8 limbs of Yamas , Niyamas , Asanas, Pranayama , Pratyahara, Dharana, Dhyana and Samadhi, encourages us to bring the underlying essence, called peace/liberation/source/oneness etc.,  into our daily living.  

So what is Pratyahara?

We can begin to look into the two components of Pratyahara, withdrawal and senses.  The five senses as we know in the physical or gross body /realm are seeing, hearing, touch, taste and smell.  These senses are directly connected to the organs of the body.  Indirectly these senses combine to create other sensations e.g sense of balance, temperature, pressure, pain etc.  

So how could  one withdraw from the 'senses' and which are the various techniques developed to bring about such withdrawal.  All humans might be similar in their feelings, thoughts and their expression but at the same time understanding the amazing complexity, which is to be human and we realize that "different strokes for different folks" is not a cliche.   

Returning back to Pratyahara.  Withdrawing from the senses is not the same as "shutting out", instead it begins with the  "opening" of the awareness of the senses.  Acknowledging each of the senses and their underlying complexity we look for an anchor that would hold us when we withdraw the senses.   The anchor replaces the continuous chatter of the mind.  Use of breath awareness in the inhales and the exhales, keeping attention on a candle flame, picture of a deity or a mantra, are some of the examples of such an anchor.   The anchor begins to build the mind muscle that allows us to ‘focus.’  

Here we begin to see why do we need to practice "Pratyahara?"    We live in a world where our time is rationed.   Sometimes the conflicting demands on the time does not allow us the luxury of savoring and lingering or just taking "our sweet time".  We are not able to process our experiences, instead we skim on the surface, moving from one ‘excited’ state to another.  

Being continuously ‘connected’ has its downside of not having a free moment unless we consciously turn off the cell phones and other media.  Even with this disconnection our minds have a challenge, the mind is a highway of racing thoughts.  

So where can one look for, to create a feeling of "timelessness"?  Besides  the vacation, daydreaming, and visualization, which itself generally happens at the cost of time, practicing Pratyahara seems to be a sustainable mode of being.   Regular practice builds a conscious awareness, which allows one to focus on the task/moment and not be bogged down by the emotional energy of what happened and will happen in another moment or hour.  It develops the Zen way of being here and now.   We begin to connect the dots of life and living by understanding Pratya.hara. 

Life unfolds each moments and the best laid plans have no strength to withstand this unpredictability of life.  

Our drives and desires.  Hungers and conflict begin to become a little more clear when we understand not only our physiology,  but the senses and their workings.  

A space or a pause starts to be felt   This pause is the freedom we all seek.  For some its the peace of mind.  

Why the Search?

Soul and spirit,

Body and breath.

Are the Four corners present in the fabric of life.   Tie these together and hold each moment within your grasp.  Sometimes putting too much weight on one will loosen or even break the knot.  Bring it back into balance.  Tighten what needs to be tightened, loosen where needed.  It's all in this moment - the soul, the spirit, the body, and the breath. 

Psyche of a city, NYC

New York, a city where the world comes together, a city as per Frank Sinatra "that never sleeps".  

My favourite pastime to walk, observe, to connect as I disconnect.  This city and it's vibe are great for doing just that.  In some cafés I notice the pictures of this city from years bygone.  I run into people who say they are born here, many generations living in the city.  A lineage of families who established and operated a small business.   The tradition seems to continue with the young entrepreneurs operating the organic cafés, tea, coffee and juice bars.  I have not dived into the history of these owners as a part of me would like to believe that they were inspired by the lineage of business owners, or maybe they belong to such a family.  

And then the glitter and the glamour or brand name stores, the "designer" brand.  New York would certainly be the place to buy products that are leading the fashion industry.   

I sit up on the third floor of the Time Warner Center.  I hear the strong local accent in the conversation between two women at the nearby table.  I think how similar we all are in our connecting, in the relating, how we share our life stories as well as the life stories of common friends.  Yes it boils down to stories.  We are all story tellers.  Sometimes we live to tell, and at times we tell and share, it

makes us feel alive.  

January happenings...

took me to UK to visit family and friends.  The days were a whirlwind, conversations, eating and catching up.  A day trip to London, followed by a few hours in the local mall where I reconnected with friends after four years of first meeting them.  The power of technology and social networks keeps us all connected.

This year, the personal intention for me is to be what I fondly refer to as "a sugar sabbatical", staying away from desserts and chocolates and candy.  So far its been doable, some hidden sugar is packaged goods I am overlooking.  Honey, yes I love my honey in tea so there, I am in a good place of living out this intention.

I spent a day with my family in Toronto, middle of the afternoon we met, the grand-babies my delight.  There life continues to remind me how fortunate I am, a gratitude to continue in my heart and in all interactions.

Yoga continues in life, and has brought me to New York City.  Here I continue to share space where we practice, eat and sleep.  Jason has opened his home for us to hang our hats and share our practice of asana, meditation and philosophy of yoga.  

New York always brings new surprises, new friends, old renewals and this time a poignant nostalgia.  Some friends move on with their life, leaving memories in places, where once shared was laughter and joy.