Fall in thoughts

Fall is the time of the year when leaves display their vibrant colours and tones.  The air gets cool, the days get foggy and cloudy, and the sunlight shifts its direction.   The bright and deeper shades of yellow, green, red, and brown,  mingle together.

The leaves on the trees and those fallen create a space where I meet myself in worlds and dimensions beyond that of time and space.

Endings and releasing.  The planetary shifts seem more intense this year.   It is as if 2019 is preparing us.  To 'release' and 'let go",  to feel aligned with our outer and the inner.  Intense soul lessons, who we are and how to live at our personal and collective level.   An ascension, where we vibrate differently, see life from a different perspective.

Those who read the stars remind us to see our shadows, to allow our emotions to rise, and be felt, directed and released.  As we begin to see what affects the 'collective' we will take more responsibility for our thoughts, actions and behaviour. 

We will be ready to face the challenges, for the 2020, not in hindsight but as active co-creators.   To face the new beginnings of each day as it dawns.

Transformation and Structure, Pluto and Saturn will be in cosmic alignment in January 2020.  Our deepest, darkest, and most intense energies will clash and what will surface becomes the new story of our life.  Reflect back to end of April 2019, what were the themes and patterns happening at that time?  The seed of the full alignment to come in January 2020 was co-created.

Pluto and Saturn come this close every 34 to 38 years, first time in Capricorn since centuries.  How will this shake our foundations of belief and social conditioning?  What will the awakened soul trigger?

Pluto is the transformation, it works at a spiritual level, on our inner self.  Where the shadows of shame hide.  It helps us to uncover our dark sides, accept it to forgive ourselves and not hide in its shadows.  Pluto helps us to dig deep, and we find our authentic power, through what comes to light we find the courage to face life.

Saturn allows us to take responsibility for our lives,  the past and the future.  It shows us the consequences of our actions and sometimes we are shown  'tough love' as a trigger to help us find our true potential. 

With all these thoughts swirling in me, I set out for my morning walk.  I used the sights and signs, to guide, encourage, to reflect.  Feel and understand, forgive and release.

Airport Journey

Why does the airport terminal/lounge/boarding gate remind me of life? This thought came up and I messaged a friend if he ever felt that way. 

So here i am in flight, about to start my descent into Toronto Pearson Airport, asking myself to explain the feeling.  A sensor that i am, i sense then i try to explain drawing on words, experiences and feelings, to explain. 

So is it because we have used the term “life is a journey?”  At the airport it just becomes applicable. The impermanence, as we prepare and wait to board the plane to move from one physical location to another.  We say goodbye, there is a “departure”.  

The other passengers or people t hat are present are also either waiting to depart, or helping others to depart.  

Brings to mind a train, moving through a dark tunnel.  All the activities of life and loving happening inside the train.   Along with other passengers we are on a sojourn, each awaiting their station.

A promise

It was a cold cold morning as I took the ramp from the highway to a side road.  I approached the red light and from a distance I saw this figure.   Very thin and a gaunt physique.  He was holding a cardboard sign.  My thoughts were on him, the cold day, and it touched me deeply.  As I fumbled for some change I was glad the light had turned red, and he approached the car.  I handed him the bill that was in my pocket.  I looked him in the eyes, noticing the lines on his face and thinking how life had weathered him, and said: "now you take care".   He thanked me and said "I will, I don't drink".  Then he leaned closer towards the car and said: "now you promise me that you will keep smiling!"  I smiled at him, with wet eyes I drove away and looked back at him through the rear view mirror. 

This morning the incident came back to me.   Each promise we make, to anyone, is a promise to ourself.  People are the conduit, a reminder.

"Fear knocked at the door, Faith answered and nobody was there.” - Unknown

Courage to face the fears, not to own them, to see how they guide my thoughts and actions.  

The faith in my strength.  No matter how broken I feel, I can build myself again.  

The energy that builds is by looking at my life in perspective.  Appreciating all there is, and turning the appreciation to gratitude.  

This is life.  Happiness is fleeting, and it returns.  Gratitude is expressed through the inner joy.

The fear returns, again.  

The courage allows me to dig a little deeper, find another root.  As I pull that root my world shakes, I lose my sense of self and identity.  My faith, appreciation and gratitude stabilize me.  Gives me the strength to live.  Joyful light shines again.  

Life I live you, with Faith and Trust in myself.

Soft hues of the salt lamp

Evening falls 

and the day departs.

My room glows

in the soft pink light.

It's the warmth and glow

we leave behind. 

As our day departs

our light recedes. 

Enjoy each light of the day

Each dark of the night.  

The morning comes,

It will come again. 

Like a new bud on the tree.

A life is born.

Bridge the gap

The "is'm" exist in what "is" and what "is not".

Awareness connects this duality of life, the is and is not, to Consciousness.  Consciousness holds them both, yet it is not affected by either. 

Meditation techniques help build the bridge of awareness, connecting us to the Consciousness, the One, the Source...

Life feels full, complete, and manageable even in moments of challenge, when we choose to walk on this bridge.

Celebrate Life

Last night I slept thinking about introspection and forgiveness.   I realize how important these intentions are.

A tribe called the Jews celebrate their New Year with these intentions.   Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

On this new moon and a solar eclipse in Virgo I too set an intention to celebrate the ending of each day with introspection and forgiveness.  To start the new day with celebration.  

A new ritual to remake my self.  I am the game changer of this life.  What a gift life is and I say Thank You to all who make mine a beauty. 

I heard a sound, from the depth of my soul from the heart of existence.  It said when we live with the gift of a body, a gift of the senses, all six of them, we are alive.  

The awareness of each sense also gives me the ability to be grateful and consciously withdraw from the over stimulation of any of the senses.  In that place I call "my peace" I reconnect with the energy that creates life.  In peace I acknowledge my life lessons.  In introspection I give myself time to heal the "traumas" associated with these lessons.  

I forgive myself, I forgive the other.  

on this longest day...

Travellers on a path,

Walking to our rhythm

Running with our spirit.

The sights we see 

through the eyes of our souls

in the stories we are told.

Why did I choose my parents

Odd title for this blog, yet that's exactly what just dawned.

Where am I and why the realization now? 

To give a perspective begins with this comment of "why we are drawn to certain paths, roads, detours etc".   I am driving towards The Himalayan Institute which is in Honesdale, Pennsylvania and after six hours of driving in the non stop rain I decide to call it a night.  I am redirected to the Country Inn and Suites in Cortland, NY.  

After a nice hot whirlpool soak I sit by the fireplace.   The calm is overcoming and I begin to feel a wave of tranquility.  

Later in the night I do some past life regression hypnosis with Brian Weiss on his YouTube video.  I have been on this self reflective week long expedition since the Lunar eclipse.   Each night going a little deeper into the past realm. 

So here I am casually walking in for breakfast, past the hour that the girl at the reception mentioned, and lo and behold there is abundance of food.  Eating my fruit and sipping my chai I look out this window and "bing" the answer appears.  

my parents before my birth

The reason why I chose my parents was for who they were, and also because of their extended family which I inherited.  They provided security of family, tribe, and food and shelter.  They securely ground my foundation in this physical realm.  The love and attention of the extended family compensated for not getting sole attention of the parents.  We moved a lot of homes and locations.  My father was in the Air Force and yes I was born in an Air Force base.  Planes, their sounds and their flights were as part of my cellular existence as the sunshine of the tropics.   My fathers colleagues and others became the extended family.  Their children became the "extended siblings", relationships forming for what seemed like a lifetime. 

The security of my existence never questioned.  

Now I move and I relocate at a drop of a hat. Walking or driving, I even choose new routes to discover.  

Education was important and it instilled in me that life is the learning, the lessons.  I developed the curiosity to discover.  

I see this clearly and my own purpose begins to emerge.  Knowing who I am comes from knowing where and why I came to this life, it is what propels me to be and do what I do. 

Who am I is then not the question I grapple.  Instead I am reminded of how effectively I live.  How do I fulfill what is mine to do.   It is this life path.   This is the  purpose.   

Why the Search?

Soul and spirit,

Body and breath.

Are the Four corners present in the fabric of life.   Tie these together and hold each moment within your grasp.  Sometimes putting too much weight on one will loosen or even break the knot.  Bring it back into balance.  Tighten what needs to be tightened, loosen where needed.  It's all in this moment - the soul, the spirit, the body, and the breath. 

Writing - Colonial House Inn, NYC

Writing - Colonial House Inn, NYC

This morning I sat with my breakfast and watched people, walking on the sidewalk, opening and closing their umbrellas, some with a hurried look on their face, some alone and some with others.  

I turned my gaze towards the room to look at fellow guests, some eating breakfast, a few conversations, some reading, some silent, within the background noise of the television.  I wondered in that moment, what would it be like if I wrote a story, sitting by this window, and looked at the world inside and outside of me.  Instead of traveling physically to places, what if sat by a window and wrote a story watching the faces of people passing by.  Time would pass, new faces will come along, some old ones will look new, and the passage of time will be picked up in the changing of the landscape. The  trees will change the color of the leaves, falling leaves will be drifting by (song plays in my head), rain will turn to freezing and then to flakes.  The softness of falling snow, its accumulation in a blizzard, people bundled up, shoulders hunching to keep warm.  Faces will change, hidden behind toques and ear muffs, scarves and boots, coats and jacket.  Layers of protection.  

Soon the weather will begin to change.  Faces emerge as layers shed.  Warmth of the sun rays will begin to reach into the hearts, bursting into smiles.  A lightness will begin to emerge.  Blossoms on the trees will decorate the paths, their fragrance and colors will fill the air.  The bare limbs will be adorned with leaves in turn the human limbs will begin to bare.  Babies will be walking, and walkers will be running.  Stroller pushers might become wheelchair pushers.

The continuous movement of life, I will see through my eyes, my filters, I will create a story with perceptions and create a reality, around those I observe.  Some will be fleeting comments and some in-depth reflections.   I will begin to emerge in each persons story.

In NYC...

Wondering what to do with the three days between New Jersey and the Himalayan Institute which is my next destination.  NYC kept calling.  I came here on the train from Metropark in NJ.   The train moved at a snail pace which allowed me to keep glancing out of the window, I was feeling very tired and felt the energy of the full super moon,  my traveling companion.

Here I am at the Colonial House Inn, in Chelsea.  It really really feels like a home.  Manifesting at the opportunity or maybe a possibility to come and stay here for longer periods of time.  I am told by front desk that January to March are the slow months hence better rate.  Winter time in NYC?  If its in my bucket list, then I guess it will happen.

Meanwhile the next few days will be a "revelation" time.  That is the theme of this trip.

Rooftop at Colonial House Inn

View of NYC fire escape 

Lower East Village, LES

What brought me here...

This is where I am.  Main Street/Downtown Honesdale, PA. I park my car along a meter on this street.  You can still use a nickel, a dime, or a quarter to park. One hour for 25 cents seemed so antique.  I fit in.

Yes so what brought me here? The Himalayan Institute, HI,  a few miles away. Tucked amidst nature.  

Driving from New Jersey took me between the Appalachians and the Poconos.  My heart knew it was the right decision.  I think there will be a post on the experience at the HI.  

This morning was time to check out the town, how people live and operate.  

First stop the gas station, it said Full Serve, so why not.  Brad comes to fill the gas tank another person notices my number plate and stops by to chat.  Canada has a good place in his mind.  Brad mentions he is off to Toronto upcoming weekend, with his church.  A few dollars bring a smile to his face.  I say "have a coffee in Toronto" and he thanks.

It's not about the money, I think, it's genuinely acknowledging the other.

South Brooklyn

 

A day so perfect that I feel an immense sense of lightness, a flow fills all the spaces in and around me. 

The yoga this morning felt the same. I moved with energy that allowed the breathing to become slower, deeper and quieter.  The breath accessing each cell.   The energy of the new moon so fresh.  

Standing in Samastiti.  I wondered, how physical movement allows the mental and emotional energy to get "unstuck" the perspective shifts.  

Thoughts become a little more clear. A space is found, a sense of freedom prevails. 

As I write these words and look up a butterfly flutters on the plants.  It hovers over the lavender, flys towards me, teases me with its proximity and flys away. 

I am sitting outside Smith Canteen.  At the corner of Carroll and Smith.  The train stop is Carroll station accessible by F train.   This is referred to as South Brooklyn.  

Somewhere behind me, probably from the speakers of the coffee shop, soft music plays on.  I look at my freshly pedicured feet.  The color I bought from Whole Foods "glint of mint", is free of formaldehyde and other chemicals which I am thinking other brands of nail polish have.  

Freedom...Flight...Found...Feelings

Impromptu late evening walk in the city

This is my city, with much pride, I call it my city-Toronto. 

This evening was a lazy one.  At 6 pm no one could have gotten me out of bed.  Yet at 9:30, I pulled my pants on took my keys and phone and headed out. 

Secure and aware of attachments I decided to take no money not even a change and no tokens.   Normally I would not be found leaving home without some change a bill in my pocket and a transport token, "just in case".  

Jupiter aligns with Saturn

Jupiter is optimism, Saturn the practical.  

Jupiter is the celestial body associated with the Ajna chakra, our third eye where intuition resides.  The pineal gland, and where we tune into our seat of meditation. A space where we find Dhyana.  

Optimism for me is also to see life, situations as they are happening.  Without associated fear or drama to them we are in the moment to do what needs to be done.  To accept and go past the obstacles caused by our thoughts.  Maybe to begin to see another perspective.  Maybe to change our view of life, change our reality.  

Saturn the celestial body rules the root chakra, the Muladhara.  Makes us feel safe and grounded.  Knowing we have food, shelter, the ability for self preservation, to pro-create or co-create our life.   Our fight or flight response begins to calm down, we feel safe. In the home within, where we are is reassuring. 

Thinking of this alignment of the two celestial bodies, where the practical aligns with the optimist.   Feeling reassured that the planets are reflecting me and vice versa. 

I write my story...

Before writing, which is through living that story called life, where does one begin.

For me it seems to be by seeing, with honesty, without any mask of right or wrong, what each interaction, comment and encounter brings up.

In that seeing many layers of "old" stories emerge.  It emerges by my noticing that it is after all a story created by parents, families, societies, cultures, nations and so on.  

Its not about discarding the lives and thoughts passed down through traditions, it is just seeing it.

As myself, as others, souls live in third dimension bodies of time and space, or do they?

What happens after, this is the logical mind grasping.  Each question is not followed by an answer, the answer can be unto itself.

How many lifetimes and how many "lessons" from life does it take to see those stories, once again is not where I dwell.

The seeing is in the present, its what i am doing or being in any moment.  Those moments and that present begins to live and weave its own story.

A fabric of life, each sutra or thread is the moments.  And I wonder can each sutra become the one light, seeing beyond the spectrum of the rainbow.

My friend and soulmate

Desire and the yearning to fulfill those desires propels, inspires and gives the heart the fuel to move.  The energy produced by each thought that supports the feeling and the desire, is what keeps the spirit alive. Otherwise we are only a walking skeleton, a facade or a mask.  Living the life only by repeating the stories we have heard.  Defining and expressing oneself through only the physical world.   

The passion of living life fully in each moment comes with the feelings created when we "desire".

Surely any desire has an outcome or goal "attached" to it.  When the outcome or the goal is not met, what then?  How does one deal with the disappointment or the un met outcome and its "attachment"?

Is it possible to have a desire without any attachment?  

If one is able to trace the desire to its origin, the thoughts that started the desire the associated feelings, then the outcome or rather the attachment to the outcome starts to lessen.   Feelings and their source become clear allowing one to not only be able to feel the feeling but somehow know why and what we are feeling.  

Somewhere in this introspection or contemplation the awareness of the impermanence of life becomes clear.  

We start to appreciate each moment knowing that it's all in the passing.  The feelings become clear, the passions driving our desires become a moving flow.   We begin to tend to the roots of our own feelings.  We become sensitive to how the other person feels.  Seeing who I am, with my conditionings and my stories and accepting that allows me to stop the inner turmoil and conflict.  A compassionate way of being becomes the peaceful identity.  

We befriend ourself and become our own soulmate.

To bring what is called happiness and joy to our life and the lives of those we touch. 

Reminds me of a saying that one can begin to apply, towards oneself first, and to all those thoughts that we think and say in each moment. 

"Let each word pass through three gates, what I am saying is it: true, necessary, and is it kind." ~Sufi saying~

What was past - August 2012

Signed the papers at the lawyers'. 

The feeling of complete emotions.  A sense of freedom and the realization that "wow I was able to fulfill some purpose; looked after me and my responsibly.  Without burdening anyone". 

The closing on August 31st.  

All with blessings and renewal.  An opening and writing of the next chapter. 

 

I plan to love love and live life as it unfolds.  

Would I continue iWork (this is autocorrect) to design the blueprint or create space for life to design as it lives, through me? 

No se. 

What was past - September 4, 2012

Cobbled streets and stone walls

a time remembered.

Let it unveil , is the asking.  

Let me see what happened then

Let me release so I can be.  

Nothing happened then, comes a voice. 

It's all in now

Multiple dimensions a soul travels,

The load is light, the veil of separation lifts.

Come with me, come to the universe,

Together we be, together we fly,

Entwined energies 

Dimension wide

This is not a dream.  

As we lived there we live here.