Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2015 - Peace, in our hearts, in our lives, and in this world

A woman prays during New Year celebrations at Jogye Buddhist temple in Seoul, South Korea, Thursday, 1 January 2015.A woman prays during new year celebrations at Jogye Buddhist temple in Seoul, South Korea

Monday, November 24, 2014

Closing time in Costa Rica

A month ago I came back to Costa Rica.   Reunion, catching up, and then three weeks of time spent in teacher training.   Two known and three new students.   Through the long hours, we kept on our path.  A yogi friend came from New York and infused new energy into our students.  We spent a weekend, watching barriers fall and fears overcome, as Jason played yoga, flying was the theme of the weekend.   The final practice, the written assessments and the graduation ceremony.   Smiles and changes so noticeable.

Now its time to return home.  

I leave here this evening, and tomorrow I fly back home.   I have done what was mine to do.  A committment met.   The new yoga teachers will share their learnings and I will take back some new memories, new friendships.

I learned how to make pottery.  A fun day spent learning, laughing, and using the clay as facial mask.  Over two days we learned how to make pottery, saw it being "baked" and watched the final pieces emerge.  We had a great teacher, he laughed at our jokes, understanding the punch line even though there was a language barrier.  

We sat and chatted, I will carry and remember the feeling of being relaxed, as we watched the rising flames.   A fire being both a symbol of releasing and of creating. 

Thursday, November 6, 2014

From Rancho Margot - Costa Rica

Landing at the Juan Santa Maria airport I felt the wramth of the country and its people seeping into me.  I had decided to be courageous and find my way to the ranch.  Renting a car, getting lost enroute and slowly making my way out of the city traffic towards the mountains.   I took in sights differently.  I was both thte driver and the passenger, not even music filled my space.   Although at times it felt i was taking the wrong turn yet the drive over and around the hilly terrain, with nature as the backdrop, filled my senses and somehow assured me that i was on my path.

As always the warmth of family and friends nourishes the soul.  

We have a group of students eager to absorb what we share with them.   The yoga teacher training is into its ninth day.    The learning and the sharing continues.   A trip to the hot springs allowed the bodies and the mind to absorb the nutrients from the hot water that flows from the volcano.  The food here is cooked fresh, the three meals and the daily supply of fresh cookies nurture the body.  Yoga through out the day brings it all together, the mind, body, and the spirit.   

The volunteers and the guests are part of the 'theme' as they too share their time with us, over meals or coffee and during the yoga sessions.

As I share these thoughts, I sense a calmness around.  This full moon effect seems lighter, although wet as we are having our share of rains in this rainforest.  

Baston del emperador

Study of the energy bodies

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

A day beyond time and space...

Some time it seems there is no time keeper.  The day unfolds as eyes open, and it closes as eyes shut. 

A continuous flow - energy has opportunity to flow, unbound and unrestricted. 

I walk under trees, through winding paths, buoyant and light. 

A tall sunflower, I see leaves in a tree starting to fray their edges. 

In a food court I grab a tea and a croissant.  Watching people eat. 
I wonder if their thoughts are aligned with each bite.   They look busy.  Probably keeping up with the demands on their physical, mental, and emotional energies.   I see myself in them.  For now I am an observer, removed and distant. 

Tuesday, September 2, 2014


Sometimes when we revisit our state of mind which we recorded at a given time it gives us a "benchmark".  Where we can see ourself.  It's a perspective.  

Seven years later...I see this!
Today/ this month is another day to write a note to self.  

Thursday, August 14, 2014

I slept in the city that never sleeps

Here are some moments captured in this last stay, in the city that keeps drawing me into its fold. 

Leaving NYC again, towards Metropark NJ. To pick up my car and drive to the Himalayan Institute. 

Four Nights in a lifetime can be a lifetime.
I walked with the full super moon, and I wept when I heard that Robin Williams ended his life.  He touched me like his million other fans through the roles he performed.  His family and loved ones will grieve and miss him. I cried thinking of his anguish and pain. It seemed to have left his body and poured out for us to feel.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Writing - Colonial House Inn, NYC

Writing - Colonial House Inn, NYC
This morning I sat with my breakfast and watched people, walking on the sidewalk, opening and closing their umbrellas, some with a hurried look on their face, some alone and some with others.  

I turned my gaze towards the room to look at fellow guests, some eating breakfast, a few conversations, some reading, some silent, within the background noise of the television.  I wondered in that moment, what would it be like if I wrote a story, sitting by this window, and looked at the world inside and outside of me.  Instead of traveling physically to places, what if sat by a window and wrote a story watching the faces of people passing by.  Time would pass, new faces will come along, some old ones will look new, and the passage of time will be picked up in the changing of the landscape. The  trees will change the color of the leaves, falling leaves will be drifting by (song plays in my head), rain will turn to freezing and then to flakes.  The softness of falling snow, its accumulation in a blizzard, people bundled up, shoulders hunching to keep warm.  Faces will change, hidden behind toques and ear muffs, scarves and boots, coats and jacket.  Layers of protection.  

Soon the weather will begin to change.  Faces emerge as layers shed.  Warmth of the sun rays will begin to reach into the hearts, bursting into smiles.  A lightness will begin to emerge.  Blossoms on the trees will decorate the paths, their fragrance and colors will fill the air.  The bare limbs will be adorned with leaves in turn the human limbs will begin to bare.  Babies will be walking, and walkers will be running.  Stroller pushers might become wheelchair pushers.

The continuous movement of life, I will see through my eyes, my filters, I will create a story with perceptions and create a reality, around those I observe.  Some will be fleeting comments and some in-depth reflections.   I will begin to emerge in each persons story.

Monday, August 11, 2014

In NYC...

Wondering what to do with the three days between New Jersey and the Himalayan Institute which is my next destination.  NYC kept calling.  I came here on the train from Metropark in NJ.   The train moved at a snail pace which allowed me to keep glancing out of the window, I was feeling very tired and felt the energy of the full super moon,  my traveling companion.

Here I am at the Colonial House Inn, in Chelsea.  It really really feels like a home.  Manifesting at the opportunity or maybe a possibility to come and stay here for longer periods of time.  I am told by front desk that January to March are the slow months hence better rate.  Winter time in NYC?  If its in my bucket list, then I guess it will happen.

Meanwhile the next few days will be a "revelation" time.  That is the theme of this trip.

Rooftop at Colonial House Inn

View of NYC fire escape 
Lower East Village, LES

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Source and clarity...

I see a speck moving on the glass table.  It's in the shape of a plane.  My next response, look up and far in the distance, against the sky, is the airplane. 

I think of someone, I wonder is the thought energy similar to seeing the reflection of the airplane?  Where did the "thought" or the energy of thinking of this person originate?  

Then again where lies the source of our thoughts.  Where are the deep seated impressions guiding the present actions? 

Just having a moment of awareness sometimes makes the difference between drowning in the emotions versus handling the feelings, the thoughts, the issue, or situation at hand.   Somehow that awareness gives the ability to navigate through life.  

With all it's ups and downs, trials and tribulations, challenges and successes, tears and laughter, the agony and ecstasy, the finding and loosing, we want to live.  We want the hug, smile and see the other smile, a warm bed to sleep, and a full belly.  

We want to see ourselves in the story of life.  The story we continue to tell ourselves and live or choose to live, and/or in writing our own.  For reasons unknown I seem to gravitate towards living my story.  Perceptions I have, I question.   Less challenging to deal with are my perceptions, and I have learned the futility of attempting to change the perceptions of others.   Only by being honest and clear of my intentions can I hope that my actions will align.   The alignment is the light that helps in relating, a challenge that each of  faces and attempts to overcome.  

When do we decide to walk away and when do we know it is time to stay grounded and work through the issue or conflict.   The answer comes if we can agree to give space and time to talk, to communicate to hear the other, accept or admit and be willing to say "I am wrong",  and believe that a resolution is possible.  Respecting the right to agree or to disagree.  The resolution does not necessarily equate with a 'status quo' desired by one, another outcome has to emerge.    

Changing the perspective is like seeing the plane in the sky as the source, the reflection is only a pointer, a trigger. 

When intention and action align, clarity reigns. 

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Touching the sky

A mellowness,
Energy that is still. 

I am deep in  a cave,
Or is this the depth of an ocean?

The air is still,
Muted voices reach my ears. 

Enough light to light the path. 
I can see easily where I am going. 

All senses balanced, 
I find a hush within. 

Nothing to tug at the heart strings
No conflicts.

I am floating, a sense yet not a sense.
The calm after the storm,
The storm has passed.  
The damage?
Not worth the consideration.  

I am numb with ecstasy,
I survived!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

What brought me here...

This is where I am.  Main Street/Downtown Honesdale, PA. I park my car along a meter on this street.  You can still use a nickel, a dime, or a quarter to park. One hour for 25 cents seemed so antique.  I fit in.

Yes so what brought me here? The Himalayan Institute, HI,  a few miles away. Tucked amidst nature.  
Driving from New Jersey took me between the Appalachians and the Poconos.  My heart knew it was the right decision.  I think there will be a post on the experience at the HI.  

This morning was time to check out the town, how people live and operate.  
First stop the gas station, it said Full Serve, so why not.  Brad comes to fill the gas tank another person notices my number plate and stops by to chat.  Canada has a good place in his mind.  Brad mentions he is off to Toronto upcoming weekend, with his church.  A few dollars bring a smile to his face.  I say "have a coffee in Toronto" and he thanks.

It's not about the money, I think, it's genuinely acknowledging the other.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

A warm day in NYC

A Desi* living a lifetime in Canada, and the accent sounds "European"?, this was the comment from a passerby with a heavy New York accent asking me for directions. 

A warm day and it's just so nice to go to sleep on a bench, surrounded by the Hudson breeze.  

*Desi is a term people from the Indian subcontinent use to refer to their cultural identity. 

Friday, June 27, 2014

South Brooklyn

A day so perfect that I feel an immense sense of lightness, a flow fills all the spaces in and around me. 

The yoga this morning felt the same. I moved with energy that allowed the breathing to become slower, deeper and quieter.  The breath accessing each cell.   The energy of the new moon so fresh.  

Standing in Samastiti.  I wondered, how physical movement allows the mental and emotional energy to get "unstuck" the perspective shifts.  
Thoughts become a little more clear. A space is found, a sense of freedom prevails. 

As I write these words and look up a butterfly flutters on the plants.  It hovers over the lavender, flys towards me, teases me with its proximity and flys away. 

I am sitting outside Smith Canteen.  At the corner of Carroll and Smith.  The train stop is Carroll station accessible by F train.   This is referred to as South Brooklyn.  

Somewhere behind me, probably from the speakers of the coffee shop, soft music plays on.  I look at my freshly pedicured feet.  The color I bought from Whole Foods "glint of mint", is free of formaldehyde and other chemicals which I am thinking other brands of nail polish have.  


Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Impromptu late evening walk in the city

This is my city, with much pride, I call it my city-Toronto. 

This evening was a lazy one.  At 6 pm no one could have gotten me out of bed.  Yet at 9:30, I pulled my pants on took my keys and phone and headed out. 

Secure and aware of attachments I decided to take no money not even a change and no tokens.   Normally I would not be found leaving home without some change a bill in my pocket and a transport token, "just in case".  

Friday, May 23, 2014

Jupiter aligns with Saturn

Jupiter is optimism, Saturn the practical.  

Jupiter is the celestial body associated with the Ajna chakra, our third eye where intuition resides.  The pineal gland, and where we tune into our seat of meditation. A space where we find Dhyana.  
Optimism for me is also to see life, situations as they are happening.  Without associated fear or drama to them we are in the moment to do what needs to be done.  To accept and go past the obstacles caused by our thoughts.  Maybe to begin to see another perspective.  Maybe to change our view of life, change our reality.  

Saturn the celestial body rules the root chakra, the Muladhara.  Makes us feel safe and grounded.  Knowing we have food, shelter, the ability for self preservation, to pro-create or co-create our life.   Our fight or flight response begins to calm down, we feel safe. In the home within, where we are is reassuring. 

Thinking of this alignment of the two celestial bodies, where the practical aligns with the optimist.   Feeling reassured that the planets are reflecting me and vice versa. 

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Prayer Is The Cry Of A Soul ~Sri Ravi Shankar~

"We often hear people say that behind every successful man is a woman. I will modify this by saying, behind every success, there is the Divine, saying, "I am behind you". The Divine dawns in you when you pray for Grace; when you cry for it.

Prayer is a vital tool to improve your life. What you can do, do it. What you cannot do, pray for it! When you feel the obstacle is too much to handle, deep prayer can work miracles. Whatever you do, know that a higher power has the final say and you can tap that power through your prayers.

You don't need any special qualifications or abilities to pray. Whether a fool or a wise person, rich or poor, anybody can pray. Prayer doesn't mean just sitting and chanting some words. It's about being in that serene, calm, meditative state. That is why, in vedic tradition, dhyana, meditation, is done before prayer as well as afterwards. When the mind is focused, prayer becomes far more powerful.

Prayer is the cry of a soul. To whom you pray is not so important. Whereas religion puts words to the prayer, and adds symbols and rituals to it, prayer itself transcends them. It happens at the subtle level of feelings; feelings transcend words and religion. The act of praying itself has the power to bring transformation.

When you pray there should be total involvement. If the mind is preoccupied elsewhere then that is no prayer at all. When there is pain, there is more involvement. That's why people turn to prayer when they are in pain. Prayer happens when you feel grateful or when you feel utterly helpless. In either case your prayers will be answered. When you feel helpless, prayer happens by itself. That's why in Hindi we say 'Nirbal toh Balram'. If you are weak, God is with you. Prayer is that moment when you get in touch with your limitations, your boundaries.

Usually when you love something, you want to possess it and you pray for it. True prayer, however, is just the opposite of wanting to possess. It's about honouring and offering everything to the Divine. Honouring brings devotion and leads to surrender. Devotion heals.

True prayer can't happen without devotion and faith. Having faith is to realise that God's protection is there for you. Devotion is inner flowering; it starts from where you are. Unless you are lit in devotion to the Divine, your life will remain restless. In devotion, longing will arise in you and true prayer happens by itself.

Be sincere in your prayers. Do not try to outsmart the Divine. What type of time do you give the Divine? Usually you give time that is leftover; when you have nothing else to do, no guests to attend to, no parties to go to, then you go to the Divine. This is not quality time. Give prime time to the Divine. You will definitely be rewarded. If your prayers are not answered, it is because you have never given quality time.

There are four types of people who go to God -- first, those who seek the truth (knowledge and freedom); second, the wise ones (gyanis); third, the ones who seek material comforts (wealth) and fourth, ones who are in misery. The wise one does not pray for something. His life itself is a prayer.

If at all you have to pray for something, pray for happiness of all the people in the world. 
"Loka Samastha Sukhinou Bhavantu"-- May everybody be happy."

Monday, May 12, 2014

I write my story...

Before writing, which is through living that story called life, where does one begin.

For me it seems to be by seeing, with honesty, without any mask of right or wrong, what each interaction, comment and encounter brings up.

In that seeing many layers of "old" stories emerge.  It emerges by my noticing that it is after all a story created by parents, families, societies, cultures, nations and so on.  

Its not about discarding the lives and thoughts passed down through traditions, it is just seeing it.

As myself, as others, souls live in third dimension bodies of time and space, or do they?

What happens after, this is the logical mind grasping.  Each question is not followed by an answer, the answer can be unto itself.

How many lifetimes and how many "lessons" from life does it take to see those stories, once again is not where I dwell.

The seeing is in the present, its what i am doing or being in any moment.  Those moments and that present begins to live and weave its own story.

A fabric of life, each sutra or thread is the moments.  And I wonder can each sutra become the one light, seeing beyond the spectrum of the rainbow.

Friday, March 28, 2014

My friend and soulmate

Desire and the yearning to fulfill those desires propels, inspires and gives the heart the fuel to move.  The energy produced by each thought that supports the feeling and the desire, is what keeps the spirit alive. Otherwise we are only a walking skeleton, a facade or a mask.  Living the life only by repeating the stories we have heard.  Defining and expressing oneself through only the physical world.   

The passion of living life fully in each moment comes with the feelings created when we "desire".
Surely any desire has an outcome or goal "attached" to it.  When the outcome or the goal is not met, what then?  How does one deal with the disappointment or the un met outcome and its "attachment"?

Is it possible to have a desire without any attachment?  

If one is able to trace the desire to its origin, the thoughts that started the desire the associated feelings, then the outcome or rather the attachment to the outcome starts to lessen.   Feelings and their source become clear allowing one to not only be able to feel the feeling but somehow know why and what we are feeling.  
Somewhere in this introspection or contemplation the awareness of the impermanence of life becomes clear.  
We start to appreciate each moment knowing that it's all in the passing.  The feelings become clear, the passions driving our desires become a moving flow.   We begin to tend to the roots of our own feelings.  We become sensitive to how the other person feels.  Seeing who I am, with my conditionings and my stories and accepting that allows me to stop the inner turmoil and conflict.  A compassionate way of being becomes the peaceful identity.  

We befriend ourself and become our own soulmate.
To bring what is called happiness and joy to our life and the lives of those we touch. 

Reminds me of a saying that one can begin to apply, towards oneself first, and to all those thoughts that we think and say in each moment. 
"Let each word pass through three gates, what I am saying is it: true, necessary, and is it kind." ~Sufi saying~

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Thoughts a collection of ideas

Jan 7, 2014 10:58 pm (Rancho Margot, Costa Rica)
Is the answer always to a question; or is the question itself the answer. 

Jan 25, 2014 5:25 pm (Rancho Margot, Costa Rica):
A knowing which happens in void in silence!

Feb 2, 2014 4:05 pm (Rancho Margot, Costa Rica):
The falling rain and the calm within. 
Soft sounds and a silence, both are the happenings, in this moment. 
My timeless heart feels this. Each heartbeat carries the nothingness and a thought. 
The unbound energy, no time can restrain its travel.

Feb 6, 2014 8:54 am (Rancho Margot, Costa Rica):
Thought from looking at the Mandela I colored this morning: 
Once the heart centre is full, what else is there left to color?   

Feb 7, 2014 6:15 am (Rancho Margot, Costa Rica):
Dark allows the light to shine.
If you are dark and I the light.
No separation. 

What was past - August 2012

Signed the papers at the lawyers'. 

The feeling of complete emotions.  A sense of freedom and the realization that "wow I was able to fulfill some purpose; looked after me and my responsibly.  Without burdening anyone". 

The closing on August 31st.  

All with blessings and renewal.  An opening and writing of the next chapter. 
I plan to love love and live life as it unfolds.  
Would I continue iWork (this is autocorrect) to design the blueprint or create space for life to design as it lives, through me? 
No se. 

What was past - September 4, 2012

Cobbled streets and stone walls
a time remembered.

Let it unveil , is the asking.  
Let me see what happened then
Let me release so I can be.  

Nothing happened then, comes a voice. 
It's all in now
Multiple dimensions a soul travels,
The load is light, the veil of separation lifts.

Come with me, come to the universe,
Together we be, together we fly,
Entwined energies 
Dimension wide

This is not a dream.  
As we lived there we live here. 

What was past- September 2011

surrounded by nature, a community and wildlife, i one again reflect on the past four weeks…why this reflection when i strive to live only in the "present moment"…maybe its my way of seeing/looking into the soul if what i recall is as each moment was lived or did i tarnish it with desires, attachments and regrets…

the travel to UK, the perfect journey, arriving in the familiarity of a city I had visited many times, all signs of feeling safe and grounded…then the sense of adventure…i was buying one way tickets, only the first destination from London was pre-determined, affordable price of air ticket plus lodging in Malaga, Spain was the choice…arriving late into the evening in Malaga, the cab to the hotel and the inner voice said "this is beautiful, its flowing"…that was how the next few days were spent in Spain. I enjoyed the bus rides, and at one point when a person sat next to me, and kept talking to himself, I allowed myself to speak up, and politely asked him if he would not mind going to another seat, the bus was empty, and he was in his own world in his conversation with himself, so I chose to be in my world and sit alone. A little voice in me said "what if I have offended him", but I sensed his energy and he was not bothered.

What was from the past -a sign 4/11/11

when someone comes in the line of vision

What was past - Inception

The word is a noun means "the beginning"

Watching this movie, brought forth many thouughts to the forefront.  what is a beginning?
is it when something ends, or do we begin out of nothing...........or is there a continuous cycle

What was past - Nov 30 to Dec 3 in CR

Nov 30:

morning first spanish lesson

afternoon depart at 2:30 for Montevrde, cloud forest, arrive there at 7 pm

Dec 1:

Spend the full day at Monteverde

Dec 2: leave for Arenal, arrive there by noon, check in the hotel and go to the hot springs in the evening

Dec 3: return to san jose, escazu to casa laurin

Thursday, March 6, 2014

A walk on a sunny and cold day, March in the city...

What separates the thoughts from running into each other and overwhelming the thinker?  Is it the ability to be an observer of the thoughts.  An observer is one who has the ability to be aware, to watch, to not be the subject but be able to create a distance between the thoughts and the feelings.  The question comes up? Who is this observer?   Is the observer also another form of thought?

As I  think these thoughts and write/type them using two thumbs it occurs, in the stream of my thinking, the similarity of how we as 'beings' are separate from each other.  At times we seem to all blend into each other, especially in crowded places, yet  what keeps us separate?  Could it be the same sense, that the observer uses, which makes us aware of our boundaries of separation? 

I am sitting in downtown Toronto, in a busy space at Tim Hortons coffee spot.  The woman in front of me places her coffee and a small paper bag on the table.  She closed her eyes, clasps her hand and I sense rather I feel an energy of gratitude in her before she bites into her chocolate covered donut, a sip of coffee and I see she is reading the free newspaper.   What stories she must have to tell.  A treasure box of life experiences.  Did she see herself as she is now ? What would she see if she went back ten years? Twenty? Thirty ? Fifty ?  Would she see herself as a small child playing, by herself.  
I feel a strong desire to write her story! Tears well up in my eyes, tears of compassions or maybe familiarity, what of myself am I seeing,  in her?   I wonder?   She looks around, her glance reminds me of the look of a chicken, her gaze is not steady, it darts as if being on her guard, an empty look in her eyes.  I notice her lips, which are moving as she continues to read.  

I finish my coffee...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Tuning the Chakras...

Steady and stop.  Just long enough to sort the worldly matters, then let the spirit move.  
Express the movement, in the walk, in dance, and travel to broaden the physical dimension.   

The spiritual dimension has no boundaries.  Create the separation and draw boundaries to know and protect the physical realm.   

Feel the physical  with the senses...

Be in love with the cosmic,  connection with the cosmic creates oneness, this love is felt when the senses feel an alignment with the spirit.   

Monday, February 24, 2014

"That we are here" it!


Add to the powerful play!

       "We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, 'O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless--of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?' Answer. That you are here--that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"

Tom Schulman
from "Dead Poets Society"

Walt Whitman, the old master and son of Manhattan, pictured in approximately 1862.


the above comes from the poem "O Me! O Life!" from Whitman's Leaves of Grass:

Sunday, January 12, 2014

An idea, intention or suffering

Holding on to an idea.  I wonder about this.  

For example when I am putting out an intention or when I am dreaming how I want to live my life, it is after all an idea.   Should I hold onto that idea?  The answer comes back as yes.  Then I ask will attaching myself to the idea become the base of my suffering?

Sometimes the idea involves others or another person.  The idea finds a life of its own. It begins to grow and seems to find its nourishment through all the interactions.  It's like I begin to look at life in a skewed manner and yet to me it seems so real.  

This morning  after a night of vivid dreams I felt like the lifting of a veil.  I began to see how I had attached myself to an idea in the past few years and just like that I saw clearly that the idea will never be viable. It will not happen because it never was there.  I had been creating and reading a story, and repeating that story to myself.  All a figment of my imagination and my desires.  

And so as I prepare myself for the full moon, the first symbolically of 2014, and I intend to release that story.  Only by doing this will there be space for life to unfold and show me what is my purpose, the divine grace and what life wants me to have.  

Another release of a story.  A letting go of an illusion.  Of making my peace with life.