Wednesday, December 4, 2024

The night recedes...

The morning starts with a darker sky and the evening comes early.  We head towards the winter solstice.

It feels like time to move inwards, to find time for a stillness; wait, wait, and wait some more for the deep seated subtle impressions (samskaras) to surface.  We write them down, we see how these subtle impressions also referred to as karmic impressions guide us through our thoughts, actions, beliefs and perspective of life and others.  

The days of the winter are a metaphor, maybe a reminder to move inwards.  

This introspection is in a way essential to live with life and not make life a constant inner struggle.  

Then there is hope, how do I find this hope.  I let the cold winter air touch my face, I stand and shiver in the cold and then return inside, to the warmth of the heated home, food, and water.  Here, this is the feeling of gratitude stemming from the assurance of the basics.

The mind now plays the track of gratitude:

health

family

friends

technology

money in my pocket and food in my belly

Somewhere between introspection and hope is found meaning.

Question to self, what can I do today to lighten the load of another?  If this question is getting me to move with peace and grace, then let it be the meaning and purpose of my life.   

I don't know about tomorrow.  I am only given today, in all its moments.

As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being. The acceptance of oneself is the essence of the whole moral problem and the epitome of a whole outlook on life. ~ Carl Jung ~


 

Saturday, June 3, 2023

The simplest pleasures…

 Experiencing by oneself aligns the experience with the experiencer


When shared with an other, is another kind of alignment



Sin Domicilio Fijo, Escazu
Carrot, Orange & Curcumin Jugo

Appunto, Escazu
Coconut Brulee

Watching "Finding Joe"...thoughts

Bliss

“When you follow your bliss, the universe will open doors where there were walls” 

“What they think of me must be put aside for Bliss” ~Joseph Campbell 

My bliss as a child? What did i like to do that felt me? Living in a world that was not the material? Day dreaming as I looked out the window of the car. Climbing trees. Being outside and walking barefoot in the grass. 

I played outside.  


I felt different? Was it the childhood traumas that made me want to be alone? Getting burnt as a toddler? Almost drowning as a child? Separation anxiety? 

Rebelled against structure? Called headstrong? 


“Grow the most by the things that stretch us the most”. 













Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Sars cov-2 journey through me

I have this vision of the virus after it enters the body. It enters the physical and the emotional/mental body. With an industrious single pointed focus to travel through the nerves. It does not need a vehicle as its spikes are the oars and the wings. Feels like an out of space science fiction vision. The body goes into a full alert mode! A slugfest between the virus and the body(s). Wherever there is resistance, illness, weakness the spikes will anchor and like a parasite make a home. How did I counter it? Slow, deep, long breaths in and out. I follow this path of breathing, with no other thought in mind. A settling calm appears. I meditate, sit in the sun and breathe in the outdoors as i look out at the lake in the far distance. I watched a serial on Netflix to keep my mind occupied with stories of other people. Today is day six and the feeling is like I have allowed the body to do what it needed and the virus did what it needed. I welcome the antibodies to the virus and pro-bodies to health and well being.

Thursday, May 19, 2022

May 2022 a trip to CR

 

Sometime a calling comes, and you try to find a reason or an excuse to justify it.  So i tried too! “To meet some friends, especially one who has been recovering from her bout with cancer”!  


May 4th I fly out to San Jose, luckily the flight was midweek, late in the evening.  After some wait at the baggage retrieval, I was out and in a few minutes the red taxi unido that was registered with Adventure Inn became my ten minute ride to the said hotel.  Arrival there is alway like returning home.  Familiar faces and effusive greetings, sharing hugs (without the lurking fear that the past pandemic has instilled). 


After settling into my room, I walk out into the post rain freshness of the night. The fragrance of  reina de la noche as they bloom into the night combined some other natural fragrances, especially the smell of fresh rain, all fill my senses. 


I run into Christopher, who is on his way back from Nicaragua to Mexico.  We exchange some niceties and the next day at breakfast a very engaging conversation on his life path. He has learned the ice bathing healing technique, which he accompanies with pranayama, with the Ice Man himself. Christopher shared his stories, his personal healing through this technique.  


The next day in the Interbus towards the Arenal, I chatted with Tina, who is considering retiring in Costa Rica. We shared our thoughts and it led to creating a group on WhatsApp.  Since then I met a few other expats that have relocated to this country as well as those on a research stage, and now we share our discoveries.  


Room at Ivannias'
 





I travelled on towards Arenal to spend a few days with Ivannia and Carlos.  The time spent there, a room overlooking the volcano, the sharing of meals and seeing these two friends brought a smile to my heart.   





















Next stop was  a couple of days at Rancho Margot. I have some investment there and the trip was to further the discussion with the owner Juan, confirming the return of the loan by the year end.   



Rancho Margot Meditation

The fresh air of the ranch, food from the huerta, yoga led by Liz and then a tour by her, all contributed to a nourished stay.   I met Magalie, a Cordon Bleu Chef, who I met after many years. We remembered the food and the fiesta during a previous extended stay where I taught yoga as the resident yoga mama and she was the chef. Besides her other yummy food, the avocado chocolate mousse is so clearly remembered.  An evening with past acquaintances from the ranch, who live in the town of El Castillo was full of laughter.  Angelika now has two kids, the younger one was just born when I last met her, he is now 10.  We ate home cooked tacos and black beans and salad.  Her son Naoun, became our translator.  The rest of the evening was akin to comedy central, as I spoke my broken Spanish and they their English.  


Angelika, irum, Magalie & Naoun

Irum and Liz





I hitched a ride back with Magalie to Adventure Inn, where the friendships and laughter continued. 


Travis returned from Peru and we had another fun evening over dinner. He brought me a hand made scarf by the grandmother of the Shaman who helped him in his Ayahuasca ceremonies.  An astral connection with him during his last ceremony was a focus of conversation.  When friends meet laughter happens!

With Travis and Magalie



I was invited to the restaurant Tin Ho, to celebrate with Ivannia and her family, her sister’s 50th birthday.   The pad thai was excellent as was the ambiance.  It was a fun afternoon.  Her brother insists that he looks like a Pakistani, his wife Marce is a runner and wants to run the Toronto marathon. We exchanged contact, maybe one day we can swap our time and homes.



  

Story of Tin Ho Restaurant


Pad Thai





Delia and Luis came to take me dinner in the mountains near volcán barva. Through a scenic narrow drive we reached the restaurant at the top of the mountain. The air was fresh with a slight nip.  Delia lives in Santo Domingo and I spent a day with them. Meandering the small town, in and out of shops, with Luis stopping to show me the old street paving as well as the construction using earth. The walls of those building were surely a reminder of antique times. 

We returned to their beautiful home.  The dogs came out barking in excitement as Delia showed me her flower collection and the mosaic wall she has been creating. A sumptuous lunch of heart of palm risotto, vegetable soup and some red wine to wash it all down. It was good to see their two sons, David and Oskar Felipe. Oskar is celebrating his birthday soon.  Another south paw like me we feel connected. We talked about their trip to Canada and they shared their past trips to Peru. Maybe we will take the next one together. 



With Luis & Delia



As I finish writing the above, the planes starts its descent into Mexico City.   I will stay here for the night en route to Toronto. 


Mexico City


The three hours wait in the immigration line was making me realize that I might not be able to see the city at all.  I had booked myself at the Marriott which meant a walk from the terminal 1 right into the airport.  A decision I was feeling good about, as I stood in line, chatting other passengers who were nervous that they will miss their onward connections.  The two ladies, who were with me in the plane and now in the line, decided after an hour to buy their way to the head of the line.  With 200 dollars they did exactly that, some passenger was happy to let them cut in front of them for a price.  


I walked into the hotel, checked in and was glad that the concierge offered to get me a driver and car to take me to Zocalo.  Nothing like a hot shower and fresh clothes, with the idea of touring that historical part of the city centre.  Eduardo the driver knew some English, and as my sparse Espanol had got a refresher in Costa Rica, we hit it off great.  A wonderful two hours of sightseeing, the historical ruins of the historic Templo Mayor which they believed was at the centre of the universe.  The 50,000 years old meteorites and of course the delicious tacos.  


The journey back to Toronto brought me feeling nourished.  


Sunrise over the Arenal
Arenal at Sunrise

Arenal at Sunset









Mexico City Palacio de bella artes

Meteorite over 50,000 years old

Palacio de Mineria



Aztec Templo Mayor

Cathedral

Presidents Palace


Madero Calle

Best Tacos at Tacos de Canasta
Los Especiales
(Madero Calle)








Monday, January 17, 2022

How yoga is therapy

I am often asked if I teach or train yoga therapy. My answer is both yes and no. 

Why no, let us get that answered first. No because I am not a trained doctor, physiotherapist, chiropractor or trained in any other aspect of the medical profession.  I have not done any extensive research with randomized cases to support the claim of yoga as therapeutic.  


Then how do I say or can I claim the therapeutic benefits of yoga?  It is based on my own lifetime practice, on reading the work of researchers on the effects of meditation and following the writings yoga teachers.


The regular practice of postures/asanas with complete attention to the state that one is in, and approaching that state with kindness, is how I meet my physical body. For example how is the body feeling today. Is their physical fatigue? Emotional exhaustion or mental stress?  Dividing the attention between the three bodies, physical, emotional and  mental, using one to balance the other. 


Refer to the Koshas,  Yoga Training Manual then we can have a discourse to unpack the concepts, and apply them to the daily living.  


Regular practice of meditation, and its benefits, is a therapy for those who follow this path.


Through the application of the different yoga techniques we do bring about  healing and a sense of wellbeing.


Friday, September 10, 2021

Navigating a day

We go about the day moving our limbs and the torso in unison, in a rhythm. 

  • I pause, to notice all inner workings that makes and supports this movement.  This pause and this noticing seems to ride on bringing attention to my breath, the inhales and the exhales. 
  • In the pause sometimes senses are evoked.  
  • The thoughts, what am I thinking? 

  • How and where is my feeling, and what emotions are riding in this physical body?


The pause, with all these subtle questions, grounds me and provides an attentive rhythm to the flow of the day. 


Its a lot to 'unpack', and who has the 'time' to go deep into each of the above self inquiry, and then one can also ask "why"? 


Maybe its enough to bring attention to any one aspect, like a thought, a feeling or a sensation, and take few deep breaths.  


And then notice the effects.


These are basics, to snack on, to slowly build the mind muscle of awareness.  


Just as we build other muscles through physical  exercise; we continue to build the mind muscle through being mindful and aware.  


The question "why", then finds the answer in how we navigate through daily life and living.  

Friday, May 29, 2020

The other side of fear

Enter a dark cave, in the darkness of an unknown surrounding, fear is present.  Stay in one spot, not moving till the eyes and the body get accustomed to the darkness.   In the darkness the eyes begin to see, the inner "eyes" begin to feel safe,  that is when you begin to move, to notice and place your next step.   You begin to make your way....

The past months of unknowing, living with the new virus called coronavirus brought me into a similar "cave of inner being".

Now I make my way back into the outside world.

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

What the coronavirus is showing me, the meaning of faith!

I learn to communicate with myself.  Me and I, there is no veil of pretence between what I honestly feel and what mask I need to wear on those feelings. 

I can scream and shout, stay in bed, eat all I want, do or not, be or not! Through all this I come to a point, where I can hug and befriend myself.  All my experiences - through all stages of life, the relating and the undoing of those relationships, they all come and sit beside me.  I wade through them all, I begin to find a glimpse of myself.

Like what about triggers?  How is this information, news, person, or conversation triggering me?  If its too much to handle, a wave of sadness, tears pour.  Sometime I will share, sometime I will hide this pain, not out of shame, rather out of compassion.  When I sit with these feelings, a light shines, the light of gratitude for all I still am and all I still have.  I place my hands on my heart, I breathe and I bring to attention those who are suffering, to those who as their job or duty are in the front line, helping treating and providing relief.  They too are me. 

I remember as I have the right to be in my 'space' so has the other.  Not to force myself or explain myself, rather stay present, encourage through being attentive.

As the 'me and i' become close, and I am able to forgive myself and be my own friend, I might have the capacity to hold you and give you strength. 

Keeping connected, encouraging myself and the other, we will keep drifting through this unknown!  I choose to believe this, as the rituals fall away, this becomes my faith.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Whimsical & Existing: pause for us all on routine existing

Whimsical & Existing: pause for us all on routine existing: We are humans. We are flawed, restless and going so quickly. We are being given a massive pause to look at ourselves. To see what we are doi...

Sunday, January 26, 2020

Bocas del Toro

In the energy of the first new moon for 2020.

The word that brought me to Central America this year was "connections"...many new ones emerge as some fade into the distance. 

Connections, the 'dis' and the 're',  seem to be inherent in all interactions.  Stories and lives seem to be weaved around them.

I focused on the other word for 2020, which is "fun"...

The past week in Bocas del Toro, have reaffirmed this new chapter.

The encounters, the boat rides, the meals, the spontaneous tarot reading, and all those who shared their life stories, it has been a week of peace and joy, and FUN!  I stayed in the jungle, in the rustic, with my yoga and meditation.  I stayed in the beautiful Hotel Bocas del Toro, and this last night in Tropical Suites.  So much gratitude to Carla Rankin, the owner of Bocas del Toro, she has lived here for the last 17 years, her stories, her time and her energy and generous spirit, is worth visit and a re-visit.  Connections!

Karen Looney hosted us at her cabin in Cauchero, special times in the quiet of the jungle.  Mary Evans and Debbie Norris, a part of this group, special! 

Today we fly out to Panama City for a night over. 

Colombia awaits!

I saw the sun rise this morning, through each step of the light in the eastern sky, the light changing color, the water shimmering, and the boats coming into dock.  Ready for another day, and more connections.  And I wish others will be able to relish the moments as I have




In the shower, these lines came into my heart "sail on silver girl, sail on by, your time has come to shine...."
If you know this song, enjoy this video that came up

Bridge over Troubled Water









Sunday, January 12, 2020

Recap

The life I choose, or the me that life chose?

The first was searching and seeking, unknowingly.


Wake up

the dream is over.


Life - shows the answer,

Seeking ends, living happens

between the sunrise and the sunset.

In each moment



Monday, December 9, 2019

Thank You

To summarize a decade

To the five grand ones, that have brought so much joy to my life!

To those who travelled on the path, who shared even the briefest of moments, or the whole journey.  
To Catherine and Jafer for sealing their relationship, a wedding that brought the family together, moments of love and joy!

To the expansion and fullness I felt.
 To watch the tree of life produce its fruits, 
To watch my limbs multiply.



They seal it!



Driving to attend the wedding Abiha and Insia
Walking her son to the Altar - grinning ma


Vancouver
Gorgeous Rabab


Cherry Blossoms in Vancouver
Cool Family


Abiha Tariq Irum & Anjum

Vancouver Smiles

"Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky” ~ Khalil Gibran



Faris celebrates his 5th
A cute foursome
We made the gingerbread house

Anna in winter

Faris
Faris
Faris



Kareem and Malka
Wedding arrivals


Dressed and ready

Mehndi Faris


Nathan

Mehndi night




Cool dude


Anna happy with Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve 2019

Our Zoya in Santa blooms


A family in Joy
Fami with Leila and Amelie