What was past- September 2011

surrounded by nature, a community and wildlife, i one again reflect on the past four weeks…why this reflection when i strive to live only in the "present moment"…maybe its my way of seeing/looking into the soul if what i recall is as each moment was lived or did i tarnish it with desires, attachments and regrets…

the travel to UK, the perfect journey, arriving in the familiarity of a city I had visited many times, all signs of feeling safe and grounded…then the sense of adventure…i was buying one way tickets, only the first destination from London was pre-determined, affordable price of air ticket plus lodging in Malaga, Spain was the choice…arriving late into the evening in Malaga, the cab to the hotel and the inner voice said "this is beautiful, its flowing"…that was how the next few days were spent in Spain. I enjoyed the bus rides, and at one point when a person sat next to me, and kept talking to himself, I allowed myself to speak up, and politely asked him if he would not mind going to another seat, the bus was empty, and he was in his own world in his conversation with himself, so I chose to be in my world and sit alone. A little voice in me said "what if I have offended him", but I sensed his energy and he was not bothered.

What was from the past -a sign 4/11/11

when someone comes in the line of vision

What was past - Inception

The word is a noun means "the beginning"

Watching this movie, brought forth many thouughts to the forefront.  what is a beginning?
is it when something ends, or do we begin out of nothing...........or is there a continuous cycle

What was past - Nov 30 to Dec 3 in CR

Nov 30:

morning first spanish lesson

afternoon depart at 2:30 for Montevrde, cloud forest, arrive there at 7 pm

Dec 1:

Spend the full day at Monteverde

Dec 2: leave for Arenal, arrive there by noon, check in the hotel and go to the hot springs in the evening

Dec 3: return to san jose, escazu to casa laurin

A walk on a sunny and cold day, March in the city...

What separates the thoughts from running into each other and overwhelming the thinker?  Is it the ability to be an observer of the thoughts.  An observer is one who has the ability to be aware, to watch, to not be the subject but be able to create a distance between the thoughts and the feelings.  The question comes up? Who is this observer?   Is the observer also another form of thought?

As I  think these thoughts and write/type them using two thumbs it occurs, in the stream of my thinking, the similarity of how we as 'beings' are separate from each other.  At times we seem to all blend into each other, especially in crowded places, yet  what keeps us separate?  Could it be the same sense, that the observer uses, which makes us aware of our boundaries of separation? 

I am sitting in downtown Toronto, in a busy space at Tim Hortons coffee spot.  The woman in front of me places her coffee and a small paper bag on the table.  She closed her eyes, clasps her hand and I sense rather I feel an energy of gratitude in her before she bites into her chocolate covered donut, a sip of coffee and I see she is reading the free newspaper.   What stories she must have to tell.  A treasure box of life experiences.  Did she see herself as she is now ? What would she see if she went back ten years? Twenty? Thirty ? Fifty ?  Would she see herself as a small child playing, by herself.  

I feel a strong desire to write her story! Tears well up in my eyes, tears of compassions or maybe familiarity, what of myself am I seeing,  in her?   I wonder?   She looks around, her glance reminds me of the look of a chicken, her gaze is not steady, it darts as if being on her guard, an empty look in her eyes.  I notice her lips, which are moving as she continues to read.  

I finish my coffee...