Sunday, September 3, 2017

Subtle Faces of judgment - encountered!

When you asked and commented on my being "left handed"
When you looked away, so I could not see your thoughts 
When you commented on my "accent" and skills with surprise for they seemed "misaligned" in context to my background
When you commented on my form that didn't represent that of my age, or of a "yoga practitioner"
Every time you ask "are you a vegetarian?, but do you eat fish?"

When to you I don't fit in a "category"

Every "you" in these thoughts is also the "I"

I am the human that feels
Let me be comfortable with being me, even though I might not know who that is
Don't help me find me 

The me I live with is kind to me and forgiving of the selves, mine and another
So what if the labels are not my style 
So what if I am happy with a few friends
So what if I am happy in solitude 

So what if the doctors don't have my permission to tell me how well I am
So what?

Kindness is my mantra 
Letting it go is my style 
Nor clothing, nor form defines me 

So what if I am a dealer in intangibles? It keeps me untangled.  And it feels peaceful, helps me live in gratitude!

The I in my living focuses on what is mine to do; I discover what is mine by living in life.  

That knowing comes from the heart. 

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

I ask myself - What if?

There was a fear which I did not avoid, mask, or distract myself.  

I chose courage to face that fear. 

All my past memories of suffering only made me strong.  Strong to allow all kinds of feelings to surface.  

I allowed tears to shed. Allowed all the energy that it takes to hold me to become free.  Beyond blame!

When there is nothing to hold on to, how does that energy feel in my body, in my mind?  How will the emotions be displayed?

I stay away from bodies of thoughts that display prejudice, that display inner conflict as outer violence.  

I use the space within to dream and to create, to live in a way that energizes, motivates, and propels me.   


There is no applause, no witness, no awards.  

Each day a joyful blessing.  

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Perspective

July 11, 2017

The past 12 days have been spent in Costa Rica.  A private student teacher training brought me here.  We share a two bedroom house.  A beautiful wooden back porch looks out into the forest.  A wooden table where we hold our teaching sessions, a white board on the side.  

The first few nights were a challenge, the sounds of the forest are very different, “what is that sound”, I ask as I am woken up, wondering, the sounds of the howler monkeys, or the night hawk, or is it the owl?  The sound of the thunder and lighting, and heavy rain on the metal roof of the porch.  The trees signing in the rain, all adds to this symphony of the night.


The beach is a few miles down the road, a half hour walk.  For long time residents here I can see how it helps to stay away from the beach and the main road.  I might return here to spend some time by the beach, I prefer to stay a short walk away, to awaken to the sound of the waves, catching a moonrise, a sunrise or a sunset, a walk in the sand, the water circling around the feet.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Mantra of Effort and Ease in Yoga



Patanjali Sutra 2:46 “sthira sukham asanam”, says “postures should be stable and comfortable”.  Or we hear the words “effort and ease”.

How many ways does this sutra guide or help us? 

How about making the “effort” to roll out the yoga mat or go to a yoga session.  Once on our mat, an “ease” as simple as “i am here”  can set in. 
  
Listening to a teacher lead the session might be an “effort”, thoughts like “I want to do my own version or the version taught by another teacher” can arise. It takes “effort” to move beyond these judgemental thoughts.  Exhale and for now listen to the words of the teacher, and also listen to your body.  Release any effort that it takes to hold a thought and just move.  

Once you find yourself in the shape of a yoga form, ease into it by focusing on the breath, "release any gripping", for now, breathe out. 

Don't look at the person next to you or into a mirror.  It will bring back the thoughts.  

Listen to your body, maybe it's time to take a pause and go into a child pose. Or listen to the teacher and move into another form.  Exhale as you pause into the ease.  Then again challenge yourself, with compassion and not judgement of self or another.

Let the mantra of "effort and ease" guide you in your practice.  

Take that thought and feeling into your day, in your interactions.  
End of the day write write how the day went, how this focus on “effort and ease” made you feel, made others feel? Did you achieve more with less? Was the day “effortless”, or did you feel you  were in a “flow?”

Friday, May 19, 2017

A spring day in May, 2017

With A lightness in my step, I set out for a walk.  

The air is cool, feels much cooler then the warmth of the past few days.  Then again this is May in the city of Toronto.  A city fondly referred to as TO.  

I walk with me and I.  The inner voice asks the reason for why I feel what I feel, earlier in the asana practice I had felt lighter, stronger, and more open.

I felt the chakras supported by the prana vayus.  "According to the yoga tradition, this far-reaching system of vital energy functions through five sub-energies called the prana vayus (vayu means “wind, breath, or life force”). Each function has a distinct role, and each is integrated into the total system of human energy. If we understand the role of each prana vayu, we can grasp how the forces of prana serve the whole person and how disturbances among the pranas lead to illness and reduced quality of life."~Rolf Solvik~

I sit and face the sun, the warmth of the sun feels supportive.  My right nostril is not as open as the left, the alternate nostril breathing helps in balancing both sides.  

With eyes closed the breath is the focus, the anchor.  A thought finds this opportune moment and I pause to reflect - "To understand the ancestral story and belief is like knowing where I come from.  The life I live, that is my story.  It is the present, the situation, the circumstances; my response of accepting or not.  Some choices have far reaching consequences.  Discernment! What is mine to do?"

Somewhere between last evening and this morning a thought occurred regarding patterns of behaviour.  How a 'karmic debt' takes a lifetime, sometimes many, to be cleared.  A tumultuous process, through challenges and tears, we clear the debt.  The clearing may be accompanied by a sense of loss; that moment when an insight reminds one to 'celebrate' instead of 'mourning'. 







I finish sipping my tea as these words are expressed on the iPhone.