dogs too have feelings...

i look at Caramel, she is a content dog most of the time, and then some feelings are evoked in her, and she comes over, and lies down next to me, her foot on my feet, and she wants attention, so if i am eating or typing it is not possible as she will hook her nose under my elbow and keep pushing my arm...those eyes, i look at her, and i kiss her, and so want to share her thoughts and feelings...she hangs her head over my arm and sits there for a long time...

i heard that this morning she was dreaming and kept making some noise, it was an interesting night for me as well, i had some visits, i shared some time with the loved ones, then why was i left with a disturbed energy...

water helps, and finally in the night i decided to go in to the warm pool, i was alone, swimming and as i lay in savasana, in the water, some peace engulfed me....

tomorrow is the 31st, and as i recap this year, 2010...i want to release, what is it that i am holding, hidden from the consciousness...

i choose to recall the best that life offered, the transformations that happened, the relationships that deepened, and the hearts that healed...

tomorrow is another day and tonight i sleep...

in meditation at Rancho Margot...

...the power of the flowing river, the river next to the yoga platform...i walk in to this space after two months, the energy is so overpowering that i bow my head in front of the altar, deeply inhaling the energy of the flowing river i am able to move to the mat and share the practice with the three souls who had requested to practice with me...i watch the flowing water and allow my thoughts to flow...

today i sit in meditation, at the same spot which brings back many past shared yoga practice, do we hold onto our memories or is there some energy that hovers, i see a white tent and the vision of a person, in savasana...the meditation ends the wondering continues...

after 372 years...

the full lunar eclipse and the winter solstice coincide...what a night...as i meditate and share the watching of the lunar eclipse in the night sky from the land of Toronto, Canada...i wondered many times where are you my friend, were you able to view this beauty, are you on the side of the earth that casts its shadow on the moon, or are you able to see the full moon... these are just my thoughts, not expecting any answers...

between the meditation, updating the Nasa Twitter page and my facebook page, alone with my feelings as i watch the beautiful night sky of Toronto...and then the final surrender of the moon...allowing the earth to cast its shadow, the moon is letting go of its brilliant moonlight...at 3 in the morning i try to sleep, but i have changed, some healing happened as i stood in the Toronto cold air watching the night sky...and i cannot sleep...the whole day i felt a sense of peace engulfing my very sense of being...and now i sit in front of the fireplace, re-capping the last 24 hours...have words ever been able to capture the feelings, why yes, some very articulate poets and writers are able to express their feeling in words...

i spent this evening with friends as we released into the fire, stuff that does not suit our purpose in life...i held the space, or maybe i did not have any more to release...i am sure that is my ego speaking, there is always stuff to be let go, in order to live life fully, and understand and be in each moment, there is always release waiting to happen,,,but i held the space for others...i feel a sense of peace, the union of this eclipse has united me, this peace that engulfs me is an attestation.

a new home....the surroundings are new, the love is the same...

life is always moving and changing...we watch and live each moment...and sometime in that moment are shared the tears of goodbye...the intensity of feeling, in that moment of parting when we smile, smile through our tears...Asim and Kamila, you will continue to build your life with love and amazing memories in your beautiful home...

my heart and home is always open, and yours to enter...

so whats in a name, you ask...

the name i have recognized to associate with and answer to (besides, hey you, ama, khala, phups, auntie, yoga mama, sweetheart, sunshine and lotus and some not to be mentioned) is the name "irum":  pronounced ir- rum...
in the last year i love the way Spanish and French speaking call me ee room


here is what Wikipedia says about the name:
"In Persian folklore it also refers to the story of King Shedad who wanted to compete with God and said that he would create Baghe 'Irum'(heaven on earth).To create this heaven he used up all his wealth and power even snatching from the poor.  He made it so beautiful that it was heard to have fountains of wine and milk and rocks of the most precious gems that one could ever imagine. His cruelty is said to have upset God and God decided to punish him,so that he would never lay eyes on Irum. Just when Shedad was about to enter the gates of Irum he tripped on the steps and died on the spot.  Irum is said to have been so beautiful that even God adored it and decided to make it one of the seven heavens in the sky.
Irum means paradise on earth that God adored so much that he decided to make it the heaven on sky for eternity."

my grandfather would recite the following lines to me: 
جدھر تیرا نکش ا قدم دیکھتا ہوں خرراما خرراما  ارم دیکھتا ہوں

wherever i see your footsteps, there, slowly unveils paradise

and so i got the name "irum"...recently someone in Israel, gave me the meaning of my name, I thought let me clarify and Wiki says it means "thoughtful" in Hebrew...I also met someone who has been to Korea and she said it means "name" in Korean...i hear it is also a name in Turkish;  with the "h" silent, Hiram is a Spanish name.

Who is this Irum?

...how do i see myself: uncomplicated, ordinary in a different or rather unusual way...nurturing, romantic and sensuous in my relationships...flowing, i love to flow in the moment, through my day, in the doing and in life...pauses, yes i pause a lot, not because i daydream or get lost in my mind instead its the moment that grabs my attention and sometime in the middle of a conversation or while i am doing something i will pause, and that moment becomes eternal...
i am left-handed, my brain config is what it is and i have recognized it and love it...why? cos thats all i know in any given moment...what is home to this brain/mind is mindfulness...my thoughts can be my love or my enemy, i am their observer...the relationship i have with my thoughts is explained in these modified lines: "i can live, with or without you"...(b.t.w i think U2 has sung the best version of this song)

and Yes, People...children, friends, their families, family of souls, yoga friends...The Earth and the Sky and all it contains, the sun and the moon (even when they are hidden from the eye)... food, chocolates, my breath, the yoga mat...is ALL i ask for...in solitude and when amongst people, i exist only in each moment...and so a BIG THANK YOU to LIFE and LIVING...si y siempre

life, did you reach out to me or i to you...no question and no answer...

we dance in union...

together we came and together we part...

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