Friday, February 5, 2016

Friday, February, Fifth

Why the above date caught my attention?  i write as the thoughts appear in my mind.  My filters and my conditioning, at the conscious and the unconscious level, plays its role in what i say and write.

Trust Precedes Surrender, were the words in my thought when i turned to my phone and looked at the time.

How we learn Trust?  How we learn it in every incarnation?  As an infant I feel nourished, well fed, and even when I am not aware of my "unsafety", I am protected.  Someone is watching out for me.

My subconscious programming of self preservation begins.  When I learn to crawl, walk, reach, and explore, trust plays a vital role.  Confidence in myself begins to grow.  Pain, caused by anything physical or a disapproval, begins to have associations, as a sponge my sub and unconscious is creating memories.

With stories weaved, each time I feel "insecure",  in my sense of self that is developing along with my physical body.

I begin to trust in the "other", my parent, someone who will make me feel well and whole again.   The parent or the other reassures me that "it is okay", I learn to forget and feel playful and curious, again.

The above chain, begins to get broken links.  My memory stores that as faith or lack of in my "self".

As an adult when I began to recognize the broken links, I began to develop strategies to overcome my fear, faith was restored.  I trusted myself to trust again.

Faith underpins the trust I have.  That no matter how I feel right now will pass.  I will  feel whole again.  This is the trust in life and what life bestows on me.   To feel whole!

With a strong faith,  that supports trust,  I surrender my efforts.

What is the outcome or the result is not where I rest my focus, instead I focus "in doing what is mine to do".  I do what comes from the heart.  No matter how uncomfortable, I will breathe through this, and maybe revisit and ask myself "if it is mine to do?".  Answers always come.

What I have made my life purpose, and what brings me joy - is what makes my heart smile.

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