Tuesday, April 26, 2011

a play on words...felt...left...life...file

"The End of My World"....~Adyashanti~
I just read this book, before leaving the Ranch.  The book spoke to me and reached me exactly where it was needed.  Adya writes with clarity and simplicity.

A week back during our full moon ritual, i read the release and the manifestation that i had penciled to paper....there was no thought behind what was being released and what was being asked of the universe...maybe i am wrong, the thought could have been underlying the words yet there was no conscious sitting down to figure out what to write... i sat at the bar table, took a pencil and words just got transferred to paper.  I wanted to release any remnants of my conditioning, to me this means bringing the light of awareness in all i am, the choice then is to continue to believe or move on.

I also said "turn back", in my release.  To manifest "i want to participate in the consciousness awakening", and "360 degrees"... what did the turn back and 360 degrees mean, is what i discovered a week later when i read Adya's book.  The meaning of the word "surrender" jumped out to me.  Living with the awareness of the feeling and the emotions; the thoughts surrounding the feelings and the emotions.   If i embrace the feeling and take a moment to turn the thought around, and suddenly i was understanding this word surrender from a different perspective, its like i had somehow climbed on to the Arenal Volcano, and all i saw was okay, it was the way it was meant to be.

When i left the ranch two days back, it felt like i had come to the last chapter and i was ending or closing the book.   Was i perceiving the "ending of my world" as i had perceived it to be?  The preceding days had contributed to this feeling or sensing.  On April 21st. i had a vivid and long dream, next morning Vanessa a wave therapist asks me to allow her to share her session with me.  Wow the experience was profound, when i joined her group in her guided meditation the experience just continued.   In the afternoon i choose to select a Mayan Oracle card, and i select number nine...i end up in bungalow nine for my last night, the same bungalow that i had stayed in for five months, and created treasured moments...

On flight 999 to Toronto, the wind changed direction, we turned around, and then the wind died and we were able to take off...interesting, in all these years of flying, one new reason for the delay...

sitting in the plane i realize that i would define my life as "felt", the letters are the same as "left", and i am left handed.

"life" is what i "file" it to be...once filed, i find the space to accept each moment as it is...
and that my friends are only thoughts, i think them, feel them, and file them away as you and i continue to live our life.

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